Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog

iWho Podcast: Rose

"Eccleston wanted to do one double take. Boak wanted to do 17. They compromised... and then sacked him."

It's our longest and most libellous podcast yet. Listen carefully as my cat, Gallifrey, has a good old whinge in the background as he makes himself a nice cup of tea.

Available from the usual place.

Can I Watch It Next Week?

Firstly, apologies if this is not as professional sounding as some of the other posters - I'm a newbie to this blogging lark!

Being a long-time Doctor Who fan since the Pertwee / Baker era, I of course knew that I was going to watch the new series. However, I decided to conduct my own "viewer experiment" by sitting down at 7.00pm with my two young daughters - aged nine and six.

Both knew nothing about Doctor Who apart from the brief glimpses of the trailers, so they had no pre-conceptions of what to expect. In addition, they were supposedly part of the target audience this new incarnation was aimed at. Would they like what they saw, or would they hate it and demand to watch Fairly Odd Parents on Nickelodeon instead?

The verdict? They absolutely loved it!!

They were on the floor in tears of laughter at the Doctor's fight with the arm in Rose's house, hiding behind cushions when the Autons broke out of the shop windows and jumping up and down when they saw the inside of the TARDIS.

In short, they enjoyed every minute and it looks like Russell T has managed to hook at least two new viewers. They can't wait for next week.

As for myself? Well I loved it too. The dialogue was everything I could expect from my favourite TV writer (The "world spinning" speech still sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it) and Chris E had the right combination of manic and mysterious. Sure it was different and the invasion seemed over very quickly but those are minor points.

This may not be your daddy's Doctor Who, but it sure is what we need right now - something intelligent that I feel happy letting my kids watch and that they WANT to watch.

This family will be tuned in for the next twelve weeks.

Never mind the hype, feel the width.

Okay, I’ve seen it twice now. And I think I’m finally in a position to give some semblance of a balanced reaction to ‘Rose’.

And, as much it pains me to say, it was a bitter disappointment.

Now, hear me out - having read all my fellow Tachyoners’ responses - valid as they all are - I fear I am going to be in a minority saying this: there was a desperate need for the new show to be a success right from the off. And that is reflected in practically all of the reviews, both here and on Outpost Gallifrey. But, six months from now, when more (and, in my opinion, hopefully better) episodes have aired, will ‘Rose’ still have that same aura of impregnability that it has now?

This all reminds me of the early hours following the TV Movie. There was a desperate need for it to be great then, if not more than there is now. But in the weeks and months that followed, a more balanced perspective emerged. The good news here is that we still have another twelve episodes left to put ‘Rose’ in context. The bad news is that, yet again, hardcore Who fans are already lambasting those who didn’t do a triple-salko for the entire forty-five minutes.

Still with me? Well, just be glad I didn’t rush to my word-processor the moment Doctor Who Confidential ended. Because I bloody hated ‘Rose’ on first viewing. After all the hype of the last three weeks, all the trailers (which I was frankly sick of come D-Day), all the interviews and the, frankly, shameless publicity on the BBC’s behalf, I was just glad to get Episode One out of the way. Because then the eyes of the world wouldn’t be on it, and we could appreciate it for what it was. The thing about hype is it’s infectious; and pretty soon you find that if you don’t feel the same way as, apparently, everyone else then you’re made to feel like a pariah, a killjoy. And, worse, an unbeliever.

Well I do believe; and despite the huge disappointment I still feel after watching ‘Rose’ twice, I continue to believe. Belief is all I’ve had these past sixteen years, and I’m not going to let one disappointment sully my memories and my hopes for the series. I firmly, categorically believe that it will only get better (both the Charles Dickens and Dalek episodes look stunning). But I refuse to get dragged along on the Hype & Hope Express unless I truly feel it myself.

Okay, I’ve said a lot here without saying very much. So let’s get to the specifics and say what I did (and didn’t) like about the first new Who in nearly nine years…

Liked

Billie Piper: never put a foot wrong. Ironically, the most feared stumbling block (she’s only a pop singer, you know!) was, in my opinion, the episode’s greatest strength. Likeable, gutsy and with just a hint or Renee Zellwegger about her, Piper more than staked a claim as one of the best, most believable, companions in the show’s history. And, like the show, can only get better.

The chemistry between Piper and Eccleston - I’ll get along to the Ninth Doctor himself down the line, but I have no doubt that this is going to be a sparky, likeable pairing over the course of the series. And given the increased emotional depth to the relationship, equally capable of eliciting great joy and great sadness in the audience (Father’s Day’s ‘changing history’ plot may provide the biggest payoff).

The TARDIS interior - reminiscent of McGann’s and faithful to the original show. Yes, I’d prefer it be white walls and large roundels, but this is a case of evolution not revolution. But where’s the rest of the ship, seeing as no internal door seems evident? (My one major gripe is that we were not spared its unveiling until the debut; how much more effective would it have been to see it the moment Rose herself does? And what happened to that alleged tracking shot following her in? Now we just get her walking in, looking, going out, then walking in again. And this is bad direction from Keith Boak to let us see the interior before Rose does. Why not use a POV shot?)

Okay, and now for the bad news…

Disliked

Sweet, dear lord that soundtrack is awful. Is it meant to be wacky, or just plain bad? When he tries, Murray Gold does come close to a shiver-down-the-spine moment (as with the ethereal music as Rose looks round the TARDIS) but the rest of the time this is Keff McCulloch revisited. Absolutely kills the drama on occasions.

All the domestic stuff, I’m afraid. Yes, this is for a new audience, and if Rose herself is going to be believable, then some insight into her home-life is necessary. But at least make it natural and likeable. Which brings us to…

Mickey - the one, truly awful aspect. Cringe worthy in the extreme, he just doesn’t seem to be reading from the same hymn-sheet. As token comic relief, he’s just not funny. As a fully-rounded character he’s, ironically enough, laughable. You just can’t imagine why an otherwise bright and independent person such as Rose is going out with him. Was it really such a trial for her to decide whether or not to go off with the Doctor?

Jackie Tyler - may get better, but here is just a stereotypical cockney strumpet. Jokes fell as flat as my feelings at 7.45.

The humour - one or two exceptions aside (‘It’s a disguise’, ‘Hellooo!’) this was an attempt to out-Buffy the Slayer, and failing badly. Very little subtlety, the broad attempts at light-heartedness only made me think how aimed at the American market this was, with its ‘witty’ one-liners and post-modern self-awareness. Either do it right or don’t bother at all.

The effects - okay, maybe this is to miss the point as, had this been by any means a great slice of Doctor Who, then poor effects would have been almost a given. But considering how much the BBC are alleged to be spending on this thing, you would hope that the effects at least look special. Your average ten year-old will have seen much, much better.

The script - I couldn’t believe that this was the same Russell T. Davies that wrote ‘The Second Coming’. Poorly plotted - the Autons are cruelly wasted, while the whole threat has been and gone in an instant - and full of unrealistic dialogue, it seems that RTD is perhaps too close to his pet to be objective. I expect a vast improvement for ‘The End of the World’.

And, finally…

The Doctor - Chris Eccleston is a great, great actor. I’ve lost count of the quality performances he’s given in some of the best dramas of the last ten or twelve years. But given his desire to break free of his ‘dour, Northern’ stereotype, this first performance smacks of a star striker trying too hard to score on his debut. At times, the ninth Doctor’s attempts at eccentricity are akin to watching your Dad dance at a disco; he’s trying really hard, but you just know he’s making an arse of himself. The humorous aspects need to be toned down pretty damn quick - it’s as though, in the absence of any eccentric clothing, this Doctor has to wear his mannerisms on his (leather jacketed) sleeve. And he’s much more believable when doing the serious stuff (a case of Eccleston’s gain being Who’s loss?)

I know I sound like I hated it. Believe me, after first viewing, I hated it in droves (I can’t remember when I’ve spent more time watching the clock than the screen). But my sense of disappointment has yet to fade after even a second viewing. I have every belief that it will get better (Eccleston, to be fair, needs time to bed in, and Piper is at least already one of the show’s true successes) and I can’t believe that RTD could even try and write a worse script than this.

But then, how could 10 million viewers - and the majority of message board posters - possibly be wrong..?

"That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien."

Stylish and slicker than an environmental oil spill at sea. I do wish I was 25 years younger. Whilst in M&S in York this past week, I found myself looking twice at some mannequins and a shiver ran down my spine.

Title sequence is excellent, new title music is spot on and I just love the way that they've kept certain classic elements. I'm not too upset that there was little back story to the Autons/Nestene as this was really quite a trivial part of the entire show. This was Rose's story and through her we discovered/rediscovered (delete as applicable) all sorts of things about this mysterious person known as the Doctor. Is it the Doctor or is he called Doctor Who? For some unaccountable reason this winds me up when he's called Doctor Who as opposed to calling the show Doctor Who, but the end credits are once again referring to him as Doctor Who.

Ah, the Doctor, some almost child like stupidity from him at times. And the arm scene was really quite funny and shows that Eccleston really is game for anything. And there was one hell of a long scene there, when the Doctor and Rose are walking from the tower block to the TARDIS, very unusual for such a fast paced show. But, as I mentioned earlier, this Doctor instantly switches from stupidity to storming and deliver something like the Earth revolving speech... Speechless. Another shiver down the spine moment.

I quite enjoyed the dig at internet geeks who are obsessed with the Doctor, although Clive's website is so badly put together it would never have resulted in such a high search engine rating. Amateurs! And the wheeliebin scene, ah yes. Slightly poor and there's a continuity-type problem with the scene. When Mickey tries to pull away from the bin and then twists round the plastic attached to his fingers hasn't twisted over as it should have. You just can't get the wheeliebins these days. Actually, there was at least one other slight continuity problem when Rose's mum was being menaced by the three brides.

And the TARDIS, what can I say. It's wonderful. As was Rose's initial reaction to it... just brilliant.

I'm glad that the end credits weren't reduced down to the size of a micro-dot, as seems to be the style at the moment, as trailers for the next programme is played over the top to try entice the populous not to pick up that remote and carryout the only exercise most of them get all day.

I'd not watched the leaked pilot (aside from a look at the title sequence) and I wasn't really that apprehensive about what it would be like. There really is just way too much talent involved in this for it to be anything other than wonderful. And 10 million viewers would sort of back that up.

So Graham Auton

What can I say that hasn't already been mentioned? Rose was terrific, that's a given. Eccleston slipped into the role as effortlessly as McGann, but given that this new Doctor is so very different, then top marks must go to him for making it a convincing one.

The theme is great, but the incidental music for the first half is pretty stinky and it's very similar to Gold's work on Casanova. Let's hope he broadens he style for the rest of the series. Still towards the end, it matched the pace very well.

The autons were great, although more screen time should have been devoted to them and I think that wheelie bin scene could have been far more sinister (and yes, I hated that burp). Doctor Who could always make the everyday sinister, but with Noel Clarke's amateurish performance it just made the bin attack daft. Come on let's scare those kids (maybe then the chava's round my way will stop setting fire to the bins).

Any reservations I had about the casting of Billie Piper were soon evaporated - she's superb and look forward to the relationship her companion will have with the Doctor. Loved her rescue of the Doctor, slightly fumbled but effective. Eccleston is at his best when he looks mean and angry, although I have no fears that he can do the comedy just as well - in fact he looks great in the second episode preview - he has a genuine childlike excitement on his face when we see him meet the aliens.

The effects in Rose were fine - not brilliant, but believable (the store exploding) to rather silly (Mickey swallowing the cork looked particularly poor, but comical if that was the desired effects). That said, the preview seemed to showcase some real corkers. The Doctor does look cool though and I've warmed to that jacket - makes sense and let's face it, Eccleston's performance has all the eccentrictroes we need.

Stand out scenes for me:

1) The moment he grabs Rose's arm and cries "Run!"
2) The mirror scene
3) The auton arm attacking the Doctor
4) The world turning speech
5) The Doctor struggling to see the Millennium Eye for what it really is.
6) Eh, the fact that Doctor Who is back and it's going to be brilliant.

Let downs:
1) Graham f**king Norton
2) Mickey
3) A whole week til episode 2.
4) The US president didn't get done in the day before.

My Rose Review

Okay, Neil asked for it - it's a little long, but here it is in all its glory (if copying from Word doesn't sod up the formatting, that is...)

For the past sixteen years, the concept of “a new series of Doctor Who” has existed purely in the abstract – a dream in the minds of the fans, something to debate and conjecture over, write articles about on internet message boards, talk to other fans about down the pub. As the years went by without any new television series, so each and every one of us began to imagine what such a thing, were it ever to happen, might be like. This long period meant that we all had time to build up our individual fantasies of what we wanted, until we all had a ‘perfect’ Doctor Who constructed in our heads, whether consciously or not.

This is part of the problem of Rose, but only for fans – suddenly, rather than each having our own visions of the future, there is only one, and it’s here and now and right in front of us and it’s real. It’s such a culture shock to find that it’s actually here, that we perhaps risk forgetting that it can’t satisfy everyone’s desires – that would be impossible. Nor should it strive to – this is, after all, a new series for the general public, and however many nodding winks it may tip to fandom, it can never be exclusively designed for a few thousand of us amongst the millions, let alone for an individual fan amongst those thousands.

Rose was not my image of perfect Doctor Who, of course it wasn’t. I’ll tell you what it was though – pretty damn good.

First things first then, Christopher Eccleston. It sounds a crass and obvious thing to say, but he really was one of my favourite actors long before he ever got the part of the Doctor. I remember well sneakily staying up late in my room as a twelve year-old, because I was desperate to find out what happened to all of Our Friends in the North, but more than any of them I wanted to see what became of Eccleston’s Nicky. The intensity and sheer watchability he brought to that and other previous roles is present here, but with so much more – a wonderful sense of a lust for life, a line in bad jokes, charisma and great comedy timing. On first watch I wasn’t convinced about his wrestling with the Auton arm, but second time around I really enjoyed it. His whole comic routine in Rose’s living room was wonderful – for a moment he has the ‘Fonz touch’ of previous Doctors as he goes to shuffle the cards in a fancy manner, and it’s all suddenly lost as cards fly all over the place. The intelligent and the farcical going hand-in-hand – very Doctorish.

This is not an out-and-out comedy Doctor though – he’s also excellent when called upon to do the more serious stuff, such as the ‘world spinning’ speech to Rose, or the confrontation with the Nestene Consciousness where he pleads almost guiltily that he couldn’t save its world. Is this the sound of a plot arc being dropped into place, perhaps? References to ‘The War’ are interesting – it’s probably a coincidence, of course, but way back in 1963 CE Webber and Donald Wilson, two of the show’s triumvirate of creators, were of the opinion that the mysterious ‘Doctor’ character in the series they were dreaming up was a refugee from a massive ‘Galactic War’ tens of thousands of years in the future, suffering from some form of amnesia brought on by the horror of what he’d seen there… Never a concept developed upon in the series itself of course, but worth mentioning.

A Doctor needs his companion of course, and in this case we have the episode’s eponymous heroine, Rose – Rose Tyler, this project’s bearer of the Russell T Davies trademark surname. I have to admit I was one of those who was a little surprised when Billie Piper’s casting was announced back in May 2004 – yes I was prejudiced, of course I was. “Why you gotta play that song so loud?” I was always more than willing to give her a chance though – I trust this production team, and it’s clear to see why. Piper is fantastic – her ‘mockney’ accent may take a little getting used to, but I think that’s more to do with being used to hearing her natural speaking voice in interviews so much over the past couple of weeks.

Rose is an interesting character – at first she seems to be nothing more than an ordinary, everyday girl from London working in a shop, but there are glimpses of something else beneath the surface. There’s the sense of unfulfilled ambition – she left school under what are hinted at as being slightly unusual circumstances, something to do with a boy… This extra spark of life, a verve for existence, that she shows is perhaps what attracts the Doctor to her as a new travelling companion. There is a very slight touch of the Buffys to her, too – the line where she talks about being an “Under sevens gymnastics” bronze medallist was just the sort of self-effacing quip Joss Whedon might have penned for his famous leading lady, although you get the sense that Rose is going to be using her brains rather more than any sort of kick-boxing moves as she confronts the bad guys.

That brief slice of Buffy-type dialogue was part of the mix of influences at work in the episode – the Doctor holding the still-talking head of the Mickey-Auton was straight out of Total Recall, which the slightly comic council estate life Rose and her mother lead echoes Shameless, the Channel 4 drama by Davies’ great friend Paul Abbott. The mention of cats and council estates, with the TARDIS parked on the corner of a sunny suburban street in summer, also brings to mind Survival, the final story of the original 1963-1989 run of Doctor Who – an unintentional sense of picking up where we left off, perhaps.

Because despite all of those influences, all of the modern pacing and production, this is still very much Doctor Who. The sense of fun mixed in with the adventure, the righteous crusading of the Doctor tempered with his unhumanity, and the fact that he wants to give the Nestene Consciousness a chance before he has to destroy it… All of this comes right out of the heart of the series we all know and love. This is certainly Doctor Who, and very good Doctor Who at that.

The production was uniformly excellent – well-paced, well-shot and with only the incidental score from the usually-reliable Murray Gold occasionally jarring – Gold’s done an excellent job on the new mix of the theme, however, admirably accompanied by pleasingly familiar-seeming visuals from The Mill. In fact the only technical aspect to let the BBC One broadcast of the episode down were the two very brief sound bleeding errors from BBC Three’s concurrent broadcast of the Strictly Come Dancing tie-in show: unfortunate, perhaps, but I’d challenge anybody to say that these two three-second or so interruptions in any way spoiled their enjoyment of the episode.

Given how much there was to fit in and how brisk the pace was, it’s surprising there was much room for any supporting characters, but Davies has always been good at quickly establishing character, and the main supports were all very good. A few have suggested that Mickey is ‘token ethnic comic relief’, but I think this is nonsense – yes, he’s a bit useless, but that’s just his character. There’s nothing derogatory about it – Jackie and Clive are equally comically drawn and I don’t see anybody complaining about them being stereotypes.

Clive of course is one of Davies’ knowing nods to us, the fans – he is one of us basically, from a world where we don’t have a show but an actual real Doctor to obsess and make websites over. The collection in his shed was nice, and the photo from 22^nd November 1963 was a lovely touch – the new beginning going right back to the first time around. Oh, and his wife’s line of “She’s read a website about the Doctor, and she’s a she?” was one of my great favourites. I would have liked to have seen more of Clive – a shame he ended up being a rather resigned victim of an Auton attack.

The Autons themselves were fantastic, blank-faced, unstoppable and suitably menacing, only really letting the side down a little when the three brides just stood there pointing their guns at Jackie and not shooting her in the several moments they had before they were deactivated. But hey-ho, it’s nice to still have Jackie around – she looks as if she’s set to provide more comic relief in the contemporarily-set episodes, and her ludicrous attempt to seduce the Doctor was a nice way of signposting just how uninterested he is in that sort of thing, thank you very much.

Overall then? Superb. The first time around I was a little worried there was too much humour for my tastes, but I think after a second viewing I was simply worrying because I was watching it with my parents and I was anxious that they’d find it too silly. Needless to say, they loved it – the burping wheelie bin went down well, and I can’t see what all the fuss has been about concerning it. Yes, it’s a comic moment, but it works. The humour never undermined the drama, it nicely counter-pointed it, which has always been how the very best Doctor Who has worked down the years.

So of course it wasn’t perfect. It never could have been it had too many expectations and dreams weighing down on it for that. But it was a fine start to what looks set to be a very fine series indeed.

"Lots of planets have norths..."

The downloadable screensaver from the official website which until seven o'clock tonight has been counting down until the start of the new series of Doctor Who now simply says 'The Invasion Begins...' Somehow I don't think it means the brief sound bleed of Graham Norton creeping in from BBC3 just as new companion Rose was being menaced for the first time by the Autons (who oddly weren't named this time out). It was an own goal from the BBC on what is one of the most important broadcasting nights of the year. But you know what I'm willing to forgive them.

Because he's back. He's bloody back. Bless him.

To be honest considering how much has been written about the new series off and online, all the tv and radio documentaries, the actual first episode, Rose, felt beside the point. As the busy new title sequence swished by part of my brain wondered if I was actually watching another trailer. But as Billie Piper strolled into view, and camera overcranked in Trafalgar Square during her lunch date with her boyfriend, my attention snapped back into view as I realised that it had started, I was there and nine years of wait were over.

Actually I think the plotting would have come as something of a shock for anyone who hasn't been catching the Doctor's adventures off screen in the gap. Atypically, The timelord already knew what the problem was and how to solve it even before the episode began (it was a bit like turning up for the last episode of a six parter in the old series). The Nestene Consciousness was using a transmitter (the London Eye) to control all the plastic in London in preparation for invading the Earth, with the help of shop dummies. The Doctor had a vile of anti-plastic, which he could use to destroy the Consciousness if needed to. It's exactly the sort of thing you'd find in one of the many short story anthologies (Short Trips etc) which been published in the interim.

This was clever move number one. Because just like best of the classic series, we were seeing him through the eyes of the companion, Rose Tyler -- she became our eyes and ears during the mad adventure. We needn't understand what it all meant, because she didn't really -- for her it was about going with the flow, enjoying the spectacle and the adventure -- much as it was for us. Like a prologue or opening act, it's about introducing the concepts and ideas to a new audience and reintroducing them to the old, and show what's changed to those who've never gone away. The was absolutely nothing in here which could alienate fans, well not this fan anyway.

The next clever idea was casting Christopher Eccleston. I think it was Tom Baker who said that the series is actor proof, that anyone could play it. That may be true, but its playing it well, and in a way which carries on the tradition. Eccleston's playing was just spooky; look into his eyes and you can see the other eight incarnations looking out at you. The moment on the bridge when he explains to Rose about the TARDIS moving around and says that she 'wouldn't understand' was just like grumpy old Hartnell. At the other end of the scale, as he fought the ships control panel as it melted the fake Mickey's head, McGann was back with us briefly. He's energetic, funny, sober, philosophical yet authorative when he needs to be. Standing over the the Nestene Consciousness trying to negotiate a truce using galactic law was just amazing.

Also amazing was Billie Piper. I don't think I was quite prepared for how much charisma she has, having not seen her in any of her previous acting roles. There is a real spark to her, an instant likeability. There is an edge of vulnerability in there, that kind of Alyson Hannigan (Willow in Buffy) huggability -- you really care if she gets hurt and I imagine they'll be playing that card somewhat as the series progresses. As a character, Rose Tyler is absolutely the right choice. Everything will be new to her, and there is that sense of wonder which was missing too much from in previous companions.

The tone was also just right. Some will no doubt knock on about the humour, especially in the scene when the Auton arms comes to life and attacks the Doctor without Rose noticing, or the wheelie bin burp, but I that's not much better or worse than John Pertwee's cleaning lady, or any number of Jelly Baby scenes. It's an important part of the series and in the Whedon age, vital other it would all look a bit ernest and silly. The episode's director Keith Boak hasn't 'done' sci-fi before (depending on your opinion of NY-LON) and was no doubt chosen because this is a story very much grounded on Earth, and these elements, quite right felt like they were intruding on the setting. Photographer Ernest Vincze, comes from a film background and that showed. At no point did the visuals feel flat; the moment when the London Eye created a halo around The Doctor, as well as feeling like a sneaky Second Coming reference (in that Russell T Davies series Eccleston played the new Christ) offered a perspective you don't often see on tv.

And yet. It wasn't perfect. Murray Gold's music was annoying. Considering how good his work has been in Casanova, here it just feels misjudged. Some sections felt desperately late Eighties. Every now and them there would an excellent spot effect, then a drum beat would clatter in and ruin it for everyone. We can't all be Alistair Locke or Dudley Simpson (both great incidental musicians from different eras of the show), but it just felt out of place somehow. That said, his mix of the theme is very good, but Delia Derbyshire's version was perfectly fine no matter what he and Russell might say about it seeming 'a bit sad'. Also, and I hate to single out any actor like this, but what did Noel Clarke think he was doing with that performance as Mickey. Yes, the character's a sap, he needs to be, otherwise Rose would shack up with The Doctor in the TARDIS, but why did he feel the need to play every scene as though he was auditioning to replace Craig Charles aboard Red Dwarf? Perhaps he settle down as the series progresses -- we'll be seeing more of him in later weeks as there as re-occurring characters this time around ... oh yes ...

But if that's all I can think of then something must be very right. This isn't another Phantom Menace. I keeping asking myself why I'm so excited about a new television series when there is still lots of other really good Doctor Who going around. It's about hope. It's about the fact that if enough of the right people care about something, and enough of those people are in the right position to doing something about it, wonderful things can happen. If that doesn't make you choke up, you must be an Auton.

"Fantastic!"

I'm going to admit something straight off the bat - I watched Rose three weeks ago. I just couldn't help it.

I did it for entirely selfish reasons. I wanted to see the TARDIS interior for the first time in the context of the episode itself and not in a trailer. I didn't want to spend the last fortnight like poor Paul Hayes, sticking my fingers in my ears or switching channels during the 14,000 interviews we've been bombarded with. But most of all, I wanted to watch it with my daughter and she's in France today.

So shoot me; I watched it early - and illegally. Did it hamper my enjoyment of the story? No. Did it effect the tension of the last two weeks? Not at all - it's what everyone else thinks, and the ratings, of course, that have me on tenterhooks. Did I watch it live? Of course, I wanted to see if the BBC would cock it up. And guess what?

What is especially ironic is the fact that we were told not to download the leaked episode, and we were all supposed to wait and watch the broadcast the way it was intended to be seen. What, with added Graham Norton?

I don't want to keep banging on about this but the fact of the matter is this: the BBC cocked it up. On their biggest night of the year so far. And they cocked up in the worst possible place - during the first scary bit. Just as we are building up some tension we get some abstract cheering. A surprise party for Billie, perhaps? But worse is to come - moments before we see the Doctor for the first time in 9 years we can clearly hear Norton (the Auton) ask "Am I here?"

Surreal doesn't even begin to cover it.

A shame really.

OK, so back to my pristine downloaded copy...

I loved it. There, I've said it.

It isn't perfect but it comes pretty damn close at times.

Here's a massive list of things I simply adored about Rose:

The opening titles. I just love the way the TARDIS tumbles over completely - it looks like it's slightly out of control and I like that.

The title music. A gorgeous mix of the old and the new. I admire the way they've actually overdubbed the new stuff onto the old theme rather than start from scratch. I love the brass and strings too - the perfect cross between the dynamic1996 TV Movie arrangement and the original work of genius. Perfect.

The very first special effect - I love this. Not only is it a homage to the opening of Spearhead from Space but it also does something else. Just when you think you are watching a "sci-fi" show it turns into a faster-paced version of Hollyoaks instead - all in one transition. Forget Kubrick and his bone - this was even harder to pull off. And it also shows viewers that the effects in this series are going to kick arse.

Billie Piper - she really can act. I didn't know what to expect but she nails it. Totally believable and extremely likable too - the perfect companion? Sorry, but she blows Ace off the screen!

The Doctor - what can I say? Better than McGann and seriously threatening to topple Baker - in his first episode! He absolutely nails it. The full range is there - light comedy ("he's gay and she's an alien"), crotchetiness ("are you going to witter on all night?"), unbridled joy ("fantastic!"), menace ("They want to overthrow the human race and destroy you"), power ("I am talking!") and poetry ("I can feel it - the turn of the Earth").

McGann just got some lousy line about some shoes!

The TARDIS - gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

The plot itself is fairly simple (it has to be) and event driven. You certainly couldn't accuse it of being boring! The pace is fast, but not overwhelming, and the direction is competent but not very inspiring.

There are many great moments to choose from but the sequence which starts with the Doctor and Rose locking Mickey in the restaurant to the moment where they descend into the Nestene lair is simply fantastic.

Rose's reactions, the Doctor's insensitivity, the utter disregard for technobabble ("anti-plastic!"), the knowing wink at the antiquated heritage of the show ("it's a disguise!") is simply sublime.

Doctor Who is not only back, it's better than it's ever been!

Other fabulous moments include:

"This is me swanning off!"
"All you do is eat chips, go to bed and watch telly"
Clive's son calls Rose "a nutter" and his wife can't believe she's a "she"
Chris dissing his ears
The couple in the restaurant - it's the bloke that screams!
Rose's double-take when she enters the TARDIS
"Every planet has a north"
The Doctor throwing a hissy fit when things don't go his way ("No! No! NO!!!")
The London Eye beaming out the Invasion command.
The little kiddie Autons murdering pedestrians - much scarier than I expected.
The Nestene calling out "Time Lord!" - something else that doesn't appear on the leaked version
The original Auton sound effects - why mess with perfection?

Things I didn't like quite so much:

The burp
"pizza pizza pizza!"
The incidental music - it's great at times (when it's being spooky) but when it's trying to be exciting it sounds a bit like Keff McCulloch with some better kit.
Mickey mugging the camera
Rose not noticing anything was up with him in the first place
The TARDIS suddenly turning up at the Nestene lair. How?
Break-dancing Autons
Clive contradicting himself three times in a row (or was that intentional?)
The Doctor photoshopped onto the grassy knoll
The ending just goes on too long.
Graham "f***king" Norton.

I'm going to give this episode 7.5/10 - and that's only because it's going to get much, much better!

He really is back, isn't he? Stone the crows...

Next week can't come soon enough...

"Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving,Revolving at 900 miles an hour."

I fear that Belgium ale has addled my very senses so we'll have to wait till tomorrow for anything remotely detailed on the subject but I thought Rose was excellent and did exactly what it said on the tin. It had one hell of a lot to cover and did it with some aplomb. Effects were superb. The whole piece really zipped along was funny and serious in turns. Really warmed to Rose, but kept wondering why I was getting undertones of Oz, from Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, in the new Doctor.

Like I said, 8.5% Belgium beer can play the very Devil with yer senses. More drivel tomorrow but the Doctor is BACK!