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Nov 28, 2007

Advance To Go. Destroy Adric. Collect £200.

Time-Flight, part two

Plasmatey(The scene: Velma of Traken and Daphne Jovanka have penetrated the inner sanctum. Kalid, caught in his own backfiring trap, is drenched in a torrent of Plasmaton snot. Doctor Freddy, with clueless comedy sidekicks in tow, prepares to unmask him.)

DOCTOR: And now let's see who the villain really is! (pulls off mask)

MASTER: Heh-heh-heh-heeeeeh.

DOCTOR: Oh Christ, not you again. Couldn't you have been Chancellor Goth?

MASTER: Yes Doctor, you're right. I wanted all the power in the sanctum for myself, so I set up those fake monster visions to scare your friends away. But how did you see through my brilliant disguise?

UnconvincingDOCTOR: Our first clue was Adric. You never realised that Matthew Waterhouse and the petulant little git in pyjamas were really one and the same character, and by making his vision try to act as a portent of doom instead of himself, despite just two lines of dialogue and an 'aaaargh' it totally humiliated itself over the course of six takes trying to get anything right. That's how we knew this Adric was a fake.

MASTER: Bah, Richard Todd could have arranged that. What was your other clue?

DOCTOR: Well that would be the general elaborate shitness of the entire scheme, it's got your handiwork all over it.

MASTER: You can't prove a thing, Doctor. A leering space-genie with gingivitis abducts Concorde using a time warp and some plasticene blobs? It's preposterous. No-one will ever believe you.

Gum_diseaseDOCTOR: Not so fast, Master. I think you'll find your dental pattern matches the marks on this chewed scenery, placing you at the scene of the crime. Take him away, Sheriff.

MASTER: Curses. But I might still get away with it in the last two epsiodes if not for these piddling scripts.

(The Master is led away in handcuffs)

ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR VOICED BY DON MESSICK: But Doctor, there's one thing I still don't understand. The Concorde crew and I don't know who the Master is, he wasn't expecting you to turn up, and all the other passengers were hypnotised. So what was all that with the Kalid disguise about?

DOCTOR: Oh, fuck only knows.

The Bumper Book of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about Time-Flight, part two: Matthew Waterhouse is set to make a comeback as the voice of Snorky in the new series remake of The Banana Splits.


Nice one.

I honestly didn't remember that Adric made a guest appearance in any of these episodes. Mind you, blowing him up was pure genius.

Wouldnt be darling if The Master had plucked Adric from the ship before it crashed and placed him in that trap? Absolve The Doctor of "Jason Todd guilt", but DC Comics have even disgarded that.

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