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Apr 20, 2007

Shakespeare's Cystern

Apologies for the late arrival of this review. Blame moving house, trying to find Star One (it was just opposite Nando's if anyone's interested) and changing the blog skin every bleedin' week!

The Shakespeare Code

He sings of love to one on high
Tonight's the night she dost then cry
She calls him forth to her abode
At last a chance to shoot his load

The house was dark and dank as well
This lusty chap a stench did smell
And then he spied her mothers both
A saucy threesome he did hope

But they themselves had other thoughts
Of pain and death, in vain he fought
He should have been much more alarmed
They weren't as hot as those from Charmed

Out in the street the Doc's arrived
With Jones in tow they stepped aside
Not to avoid a butterfly
But miss some poo from window high

Across the town the crowd do thrill
To a new show from playwright Will
But in the throng, all on her own
A witch sits with a Shakespeare clone

She has power through use of doll
To make poor Will obey her call
A sequel play he must now write
So she, her people, can unite

Whilst in William's lodging house room
The Master of the Revels swoons
Demands the play must be approved
But soon he drowns, so boo hoo hoo

The witch enchants with potion green
To help him write a final scene
But just before the ink is dry
The land lady herself stops by

She'd come to Will to be well thrilled
Instead interrupts, ends up killed
The scream disturbs the sleeping Doc
And Martha has a terrible shock

As stiffs pile up around the place
The Doc and Will pick up the pace
The key lies with the Globe itself
They need the architect himself

In Bedlam's cells Pete Streete lies still
The guards think he's mentally ill
A witch appears, snuffs out his light
Doctor names her Carionite

Scene is set for the final act
Cast and crew try not to react
A fizzing cloud appears in view
And evil hordes come flying through

Will is urged fight them with words
And shows he's clever by two thirds
But even he fails in the end
Using words JK Rowling penned

Our story now is at an end
'Cept for the Queen, seemed to offend
Next week we're off for some Gridlock
It's RTD. Bound to be cock!

The Bumper Book of Made Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about The Shakespeare Code: this episode will now be used as one of the standard texts for the A level English Literature and the Gays curriculum to be introduced from September 2007.


See, now that's true writing talent. I just string together a bunch of Shakespeare quotes in some semblance of a plot review, And Mr Q writes a whole bleeding sonnet!

Beat that!

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