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Mar 08, 2007

Thursdae

Jo10JO GRANT
MEMBER SINCE: 1971
LOCATION: In bed
MOOD: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Didn't get enough sleep last night, was in bed having lovely dream about ponies when big earthquake suddenly woke me up and everyone had another asthma attack. People shouting about the devil so decided to be very brave and sneak out of window and down to church where rotten Mister Master was hiding. Not scared of heights this time and didn't even get flares caught in ladder rungs, v. v. v. proud of myself. But forgot about knotted sheets hanging out of window, and dishy Mike Yates found them and came after me and scared me in the church basement. Showed me it was full of traps. Master in for big fine from missing library book, serves him right.

Jo11 Doctah still being v. bossy, played noughts and crosses on motorbike windscreen while shouting at spotty Osgood with National Health specs on who was using big cable from transmitter to watch telly but kept getting wrong programme. Brig wearing shoes down from pacing around. Osgood said thermic vibrator still not in phase. Don't think that's really a problem, probably needs new batteries.

Doctah returned to village but was tied to maypole by Landlord Bert wearing Blue Peter Christmas tree made of newspaper strips and funny morris men doing jungle war dance who had had too many drinks. Bert wanted everyone to burn my Doctah up for being a witch but they let him go after Miss Horseface made Doctah pretend to be Great Wizard Yingtongiddleipo from Magical Mystery Tour. V. silly, even I wouldn't have fallen for that. But Doctah had lots of help from Bessie's gadgetbox and from Beefy Benton who brig sez is a crack shot (though again may have heard this wrong). Miss Horseface and her heavy ball also sez Benton is a dab hand with a spinning cock. Not sure how she'd know.

Jo12 Yates and me hid in cavern, Master started black magic ceremony while coven members wearing cowls and Batman masks played v. slow game of musical statues. Master then tried to sacrifice a chicken. Big rotter knows I'm vegan so I shouted and made him stop, in hindsight not brightest move ever. But was too late, Master was laughing and evil goat man appeared and grew v. v. v. v. v. v. v. big! Haven't been so frightened since autons. And alien mindbox. And axons. And space miners. V. scared indeed, hope my Doctah gets here quickly before I start blubbling.

Wet my knickers too but got so cold when goat man grew big it all froze up. Not v. comfortable to wear.

BBL (i hope!)

- Jo

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