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Feb 28, 2007

Here Comes the Sun

Seeds5c The Seeds of Death Episode 5

Fewsham finally grows some cajones and he stops an Ice Warrior from shuffling towards Zoe so it can, erm, do, er, something. On top of that he fixes the bloody T-Mat, makes some hot, sweet tea and solves world poverty. What a top bloke. Oh bugger, they've killed him.

Oh no, they're introducing new bureaucratic characters that only exist so that the other characters can spout exposition and padding at them! Goddamn them all to hell! Sir James Gregson's sole purpose in this story is to summarise the entire plot so far  - and trying to disguise this by using the flimsy guise of an annual appraisal just isn't going to cut the mustard. Interestingly, Gregson is just as incredulous about many of the aspects of this story as we have been; it's almost as if Brian Hayles suddenly took the time to read over the first four episodes and he's thoroughly ashamed of what he found there.

    Do they create the odd thunder storm to liven things up?

Seeds5b A Martian heads for the Weather Control Bureau. The control panel is a triumph of usability - let's make everything DRY! It's at this point where my mind starts to wander and I'm left imagining how such a system might work. Not from a technical point of view, but who chooses which days of the year are nice, and which days are overcast? Do they create the odd thunder storm to liven things up? Does it always snow at Christmas? Are major sporting events ever rained off? Who decides? Is there a phone-in vote? A lottery? Is there a random element to keep weather forecasters in a job? I need to know! And since this Bureau only controls the UK's weather system then the Ice Warriors will have to invade every Weather Control Bureau on the planet! However, if they are as well protected and staffed as this one then that shouldn't be too much trouble, and it's not as if the UK will warn anyone else of an impending attack.

Seeds5a And all this talk of the weather confuses me still further. The Ice Warriors are supposed to be reptiles and yet they can't stand the heat. When was the last time you saw a lizard on a polar ice cap? However, I do love how the Ice Warrior's heads slip back into their shells when they eventually pop their oversized clogs.

It's all very Michael Bentine's Potty Time...

Anyway, after having a week off (the lucky bugger), Patrick Troughton finally wakes up - he seems to have been dreaming about Victoria (poor, poor Zoe) - and he quickly takes control of the rapidly deteriorating sitation. For starters, he uses his great intellect to discover a way to destroy the seed pod fungus. He does this by randomly throwing chemicals at it and fretting. It turns out that water (yes, Dave, WATER!!!!) will do the job which makes the Ice Warriors plan seem even more ridiculous than before. I mean, where are you going to find such a substance on planet earth, eh? Bloody amateurs....

The Bumper Book of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about The Seeds of Death Episode 5
: today's episode was brought to you by Qatar Airways.


Or THEY'VE KILLED HIM! THEY'VE KILLED HIM!!!! if you're Fewsham.

This joke could run and run.

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