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Feb 27, 2007

Foam, Sweet Foam

The Seeds of Death Episode 4

Amazon's (sorry, this joke is wearing a bit thin now, isn't it?) warehouse in London is hit by one of the Ice Warrior's seed pod bombs. This results in the shopping giant unwittingly distributing deadly Martian gas to the capital instead of the usual food and books. Oh well, at least the shipping is free!

Seeds4b These seed pod bombs can suck the life out of a room faster than Maureen O'Brien, and it soon becomes apparent that the bad guys want everyone on earth to endure the same breathing difficulties as they do. They achieve this by turning the planet into a giant Ibizian nightclub - but instead of fun and frolics in the foam it's murder on the dance floor (groan). There is also the suggestion that anyone who is in close proximity to an exploding seed will eventually be transmogrified into a giant turtle - just look at the screen grab of Professor Eldred on the right - notice how he's suddenly growing a shell? Spooky, huh?

The Ice Warrior's ballsy plan (no? oh fuck off then) is flawed, though. Given that they can only send one bomb at a time then all humanity needs to do is to give Paris a ring and say, 'Bonjour, mon aimee, if you happen to receive a white ball in the post, don't open it. Just turn off the extractor fans, evacuate the building and call the cops'. Simple. However, in the future no one appears to talk to each other, what with T-Mat having successfully replaced the telephone and email system, (along with celeriac, polyester and Astroturf), so the whole world is screwed.

The seed pod bombs can suck the life out of a room faster than Maureen O'Brien...

Seeds4a However, to be fair - and please bear with me for a moment while I actually attempt to review an episode - episode 4 is an absolute blast compared to the leisurely build-up of the first 3 installments. They are plenty of iconic images to savour: from the Ice Warrior bursting out of the T-Mat, to an alien marching morosely around Hampstead Heath (which is pant-wettingly eerie), to Zoe doing a podium dance in yet another Ibizan discotheque, which also provides the basis for one of the most striking cliffhangers the programme has ever delivered. I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to part 5...

The Bumper Book of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about The Seeds of Death Episode 4: Brian Hayles was asked to come up with a catchphrase for the Martians but the best he could manage was: "Does my bum look big in this?"


"This old joke of mine is wearing a bit thin."

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