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Oct 01, 2006

Ok Computer

Boss_3 Oh look... it's a computer gone insane. Well durr... No surprises there then. Biomorphic Organizational Systems Supervisor. The BOSS. Yet another megalomaniacal computer, whose creators spent more time agonizing over a witty acronym to describe their creation, rather than making sure that its programming wouldn't lead to world domination syndrome. And those of you who where hoping for a cameo from Bruce Springsteen are looking very sheepish now, aren't you? Hell. At this stage most of us would have settle for a cameo from Hank Marvin. Although we'd probably have just gotten his party trick impression of a paranoid android.

The Green Death - Episode Five

Boss1 Bit of a let down really. How many more of these insane buggers are there around the place? Didn't they know that they needed to apply service pack 2 in order to prevent the early signs of megalomania? The Motherboarding asshole. Bet it's a Microsoft operating system he's running too. The human race wouldn't have been in such dire straits if it was an Apple OS running the show. All we'd have in that case was some some stunningly designed computers and plenty of eye candy. Instead, we get Gerry Anderson cast offs that someone's rescued from the back of the Pinewood set.

"There's absolutely no reason to dramatize IT Helpdesk calls and stick them on in place of the usual Saturday tea time programming."

How lucky it is that the Doctor's on hand to deal with this sort of occurrence. Ditching his usual act of the tourist of time and space to become more like IT help desk tech support. "This computer I bought from you, it's trying to take over the world. What's your policy on that?" Calls may well have been recorded for training purposes, but that's absolutely no reason to dramatize them and stick them on in place of the usual Saturday tea time programming.

Boss2 The only computer to ever be linked to a human brain. When why isn't he thinking about sex every 6 seconds? Of course, it's just possible that that's why the BOSS has become so deranged and has started climbing up the walls because of Stevens' permanent sexual fantasies over his continual procession of new secretaries, in a Reggie Perrin stylee. Each one fitter, happier than the last. The BOSS's frustration at not being able to act on these desires being the main driver behind his current state of mind. Stevens' borderline electioneering tactics isn't enough to take the BOSS's RAM partition off his aching hard drive. Nor has the fact that the maggots have been driven underground as a result of UNIT's pork fisted attempts to destroy. These subterranean homesick aliens merely react as nature intended and attempt to get back to the surface.

Boss3 The so-called light relief, Yates' horseplay in this hard hitting eco-drama/IT gone mad, is bang out of place. And you're just left feeling a lot like the impact collision caused by a Reliant going mano-e-mano with an articulated lorry, resulting only in a face full of airbag and whiplash. I use the words "relief" and "Yates", in such close proximity, under advice from the Sexual Innuendo Council Of England (SICOE).

And as for the side padding (I mean plot) where Jo and Cliff fall into a cave to hide from the explosions proceeding to fall onto a radio, head first, smashing it to smithereens, barely causes even a spark of interest. Although they just might have gotten their just deserts, so there's no need to call the Karma Police just yet.

The Bumper Book of Made Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about part 5 of The Green Death: the BOSS was the the inspiration behind the computer from Superman III. The destruction of the computer actually won the Oscar for the best exit music (for a film).

Did anyone see what I did there?


Yes, it's Now That's What I Call... RADIOHEAD!


Sorry, you left me high and dry there. Perhaps I've just got a case of the bends..?

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