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Oct 04, 2006

Duggan. And the betting pencil of Doom.

I wonder what's on the other side...

City of Death - Episode Three

It's party time for the shards of the Jaggaroth as it's their annual works outing. Although when you've been the only member of your species for 400 million years, and you instantly know every single thought that every other splinter of your being has. This tends to make small talk fairly difficult.

"Are they the only race to have invented prosthetics before masturbation?"

So... Here are some conversation pointers for the shy and/or perpetually bored splinters of Scaroth. I'd start asking questions like, how comes all the shards look the same? And where are they getting their bulk supply of Glovermasks? You can just about swallow the fact that the 20th century version has access to rudimentary makeup techniques, like those last practiced in Mission Impossible, but where's his old Italian counterpart getting the fright masks from? To say nothing of the other shards of Scaroth we see. Are they the only race to have invented prosthetics before masturbation?

KimonoAnd precisely how, all over, is this disguise? For the most part he's mincing around in a green kimono but presumable he, and the Countess, have enjoyed a full, loving and occasionally squelchy  relationship. She's obviously not twigged that nothing's amiss with her partner's physic. So have they actually seen each other naked? Have they? I'd hope that bit part of his disguise that's molded to look like the Old Chap is actually a damn sight more robust that his face mask. Of course, they do say that love is blind. Well in this case it's not only blind but it's also retarded to the point of Boris Johnston.

"The fish with boobs epic Splash wasn't based on Da Vinci's work"

GuardguardStill, at least his other splinters have associated themselves with those who aren't so demanding. Take the chap who works for the Borgias. The only gentleman in existence who wouldn't even know if he was gay if he had arousing thoughts of man meat whilst at the weekly madrigal musical theatre event. The Bourgias recruitment policy must have gone down hill in recent years if this was an example of their recent appointees. Perhaps they were too concerned with their Papal cousin who was busy laying the foundations, with Leonardo, for Tom Hanks' movie career.

What do you mean the fish with boobs epic Splash wasn't based on Da Vinci's work? At least her prosthetic work was a damn sight more reliable than Scaroth's and would stand up to a whole lot more action. At least, if my recurring dreams have told me anything...

The Bumper Book of Made Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about part three of City of Death: a full range of Scarlioni dressing gowns, kimonos and night attire are now available from all good C&A high street outlets.

Comments

I'm pretty sure that the word "discrete" is used by the Doctor regarding Scalioni's relationship with his wife, which I've always assumed meant that she doesn't mind what he gets up to as long as he doesn't mind what she gets up to; hence I suspect that there hasn't been any squelchiness between those two; it being generally understood that they'd each get their squelchiness elsewhere.

I agree.

I've always preferred to think of it like that. Right at the start of their relationship, Scaroth made it quite clear that he would be happy to do everything except bed the Countess. She could have a line of lovers winding twice around the block if she wanted, but no Scaroth nookie. Considering the vast amount of prestige and cash he has, there are some women out there that would settle for that.

Because otherwise...

Yes, I've always preferred to think of it like that :P

Sounds a bit like any ordinary marriage to me. Or is that just me?

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