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Nov 18, 2005

Children in Need (of a toy Dalek)

"Oooh, and a Sonic Screwdriver! And can Santa bring me the DVD's too?"

The recap: A nice opportunity to flog those CGI Daleks again, even if it lasted longer than the 'episode' itself. We even got a full title sequence. Sadly, the switch in actors did not trigger the dropping of those truly naff zooming credits.

The Doctor: Yikes! He's got hair! Teeth! A mole! Thank christ his personal exploration stayed above the trouser belt. Given RTD's propensity towards fart gags I was half expecting the Doctor to take that for a test drive as well. Looks like we're in for some serious regeneration mania. As if in answer to Neils concerns, it appeared as if Tennants bollock-dropping performance in the trailer was slightly trimmed. And anyone wanna place a bet on that yellow spirit? A Gelth? A Vorlon? A case of TARDIS Time Vortex gas?

The plot: Erm... the Doctor introduces himself, prevents the BBC CGI department from having to conjour up dogs without noses, and then everything gets very loud indeed.

The spin-off: "Captain Jack is... arghh!!... busy.... awwww!!! rebuilding Earth! Saturday. 8pm... arghh!!... BBC1". Blimey, setting up Torchwood looked painful.

The Christmas Invasion: Yes, it's going to take place in Jackie Tylers kitchen. I just know it. F**k!!!

Peter Andre and Jordan: I'm all in favour of arming the police, if there's a good chance these two gits get caught in some unfortunate crossfire.


"Torchwood" doesn't take place in the year 200,100.

But if it did it would still look like 2006.

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