Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog

Cry HAVOC!

Spearhead from Space Episode 4:

There are many great moments in this, the final instalment, not least the spooky scenes set in Madame Tussaud's world famous Civil Servant Exhibit! This is a brilliant touch - rooting the horror in the middle of the recognisable (especially back when a visit to a poxy waxwork museum was a dream come true for any eight year old boy).

Now, Liz Shaw is supposed to be a brilliant scientist and everything, and yet she makes this rather ridiculous claim: "The rest of the world are fast asleep". Er, no, they aren't. There is another hemisphere (or is that spear?), you know.

And here it is - the bit we've all been waiting for. Russell the Davies' all-time favourite Doctor Who moment (according to SFX). So pay attention.

It's dated, hasn't it? In fact, my memory cheats at this point; I thought that bit in Kevin Davies' documentary when Gary Davies (sorry, Russell) actually puts his hand through the window occurred here instead. What we do get is a stock BBC sound effect of some glass breaking. It's on the same CD as 'Water splash for murders committed by guns hidden in daffodils). And who remembers those little green tents that workmen used to hide in? No, not you Paul. I'm sure I remember Rod Hull and Emu doing something Who-ey in one of those, once.

But I digress. As dawn invasions go this one is pretty good. Fantastic, even. Just imagine this scene on a budget...

Cue the guys from HAVOC! The UNIT shoot-out in an alleyway is just fantastic. Just like that time against the Cybermen - but in colour! All we needed was Pertwee running away with his hands cellotaped to his arse as plumes of brown smoke engulfed him.

The Nestene itself is a bit of a mixed bag. A bag mixed with dripping, shower gel and sick, to be precise. It's wonderfully disgusting and only spoilt when its rubber (not plastic, strangely) tentacles break loose to provoke Pertwee into a display of gurning that won't be matched again until 1987.

My final analysis of Spearhead:

I enjoyed it immensely. It's dated better than any other other Doctor Who story I can think of, thanks for the ridiculously high production values and real location work. The script is witty, inventive and genuinely scary, and the acting is strong across the board. If Davies is using this as a template for 'Rose' then I'm sold. Actually, if I'm not very much mistaken this episode will also provide a template of sorts for the two-part 'Aliens of London' story too.

And that's it for the first round in our DW Stripped Down session. Thanks to everyone who has taken part so far. It's been fun!

We kick off again on Monday with part one of Pyramids of Mars. Ten points to the first person who can connect that story with Russell the Davies.

Damn it. I've just realised that my copy of Pyramids is stuck in storage about 20 miles away, hidden in the middle of hundreds of blank CDs. Oh well. I've ordered it from Amazon's rental service and hopefully it'll be here by Monday...

Smith. Doctor John Smith.

Firstly we have one of the least visited parts of Madame Tussauds, the hall of top civil servants. Not MPs mind you, but civil servants. A room full of Sir Humphrey replicas is probably about as exciting as a room full of the real things.

Sweet Chocolate Christ! Dummies breaking out of department store windows!!! That's another reason to be scared going anywhere near C&A, that and thought of having to try on another pair of cheap, itchy, school pants. Probably had every single child in the country bricking it the next time they walked passed a display window. A truly menacing prospect having evil lurking in the most innocuous of places. Doctor Who at its best. I'm looking forward to quite a few more moments like this in the new series, where real panic ensues on the streets of a major city and not just half a dozen saps keeling over at a bus stop (although, to be fair, the way the people fleeing has been shot actually is very good).

And from the sublime to the ridiculous. After the magnificent Autons we see the Doctor being menaced by something that would barely frighten a hick from southern America on holiday in Loch Ness. Welcome to Myrka country. Population: bad latex. Not too sure which bit's more scary, the green tentacles thrashing around or the Doctor's reaction to them. And what on earth is that device that they've used to finish off the Nestene? Some sort of fondu set by the looks of it.

And so it ends, still a very enjoyable piece of television. It's older than me and I suspect that it's aged a lot better too! Bring on Sutekh, Scarman and Sheard...

Deus ex (time) machina.

Or, as the Romans would have said, 'contrived plot device to help wrap up story'.

Yes, 'Spearhead' four was a rather rushed affair, especially given the sedate activities of the previous installment.  No sooner have the Autons pushed on with their offensive to 'recolonise' Earth with some extras from 'Are you being served', but Doctor Jon and Liz are waving pieces of the Radiophonic Workshop around and giving dummies the worst head colds in history.

Of course, disappointing final episodes aren't rare in Doctor Who (even in classics like 'Pyramids of Mars'...but then I'm getting ahead of myself).  And the disappointment of the Autons' menacing machinations petering out shouldn't detract from the sheer thrill of seeing all those Michael York lookalikes crashing out of their department store windows.  It's one of those truly iconic Who moments, and one which I wager will be repeated virtually shot-for-shot in three weeks time (though if they still look like Michael York then I'll be worried).

Some other things to mention: why does no-one twig that there's something a little odd about Scobie seeing as he's got a positively varnished sheen about him since Episode Three?  And how lax is Madame Tussauds' security these days (the 'near future' of the UNIT stories) what with both the Doctor & Liz and Channing & Hibbert able to hide behind some curtains come lights out?  Oh, and the less said about Pertwee's gurning with the Nestene tentacle, the better (he appears to be trying to eat it at one point).  And how much are the Autons' effectiveness diminished during the factory fight with Havoc stuntmen (the single Auton of the previous episodes was much better).

All in all, a superior debut story for a new Doctor.  And enough here to suggest that RTD and co. will get off to a strong start later this month.  I wonder if - like with 'Spearhead' - they'll be tempted to stage a rematch a year later..?

Three is the magic number.

So, three parts in and the traditionally 'difficult' episode of Who's classic four-part structure.

Part three of 'Spearhead' treads water for much of its running time.  The Doctor and co - with Pertwee thankfully now realising he's not in 'The Navy Lark any more - spend most of their time going back and forth to Channing's factory (whose sheer creepiness, if for no other reason, warrants an arrest).  Elsewhere, that unintelligible poacher and his wife provide some 'light' relief; sufficient for Barry Letts to repeat the trick three years later for 'The Three Doctors'.  Fingers crossed that's the last we see of them in this story.

A bit of retro pondering here, but why exactly do the Autons kidnap Doctor Jon in Part one anyway?  Do they detect an intelligent alien, or are they just suckers for an amnesiac in hospital scrubs?

Liz Shaw is still getting on everyone's proverbial tits; no wonder Letts and co (weren't they big on TOTP once?) dumped her for someone vacuous and sexy.  And the overlooked Captain Munro's interrogation of poacher Seeley (oo-ar) is like some local news reporter trying to instill some gravitas into dull, communal events (he even looks like a newsreader).

But damn it all, it's another cracking cliff-hanger.  General Scobie opens his front door to...himself.  And they say the halcyon days for such things only arrived during the Hinchcliffe/Holmes period.

Still no sign of those auto-glass unfriendly Autons, though...

Fanciful Indeed

I noticed Q has used that image of Channing at the window - damn near cacked 'em when I saw that in episode 3 and the way the director lingers on the shot, he's really upping the ante in the giving me the willies department.

At least the soldiers didn't shoot Ransome as HE came out of the woods - they must have been gunning for the Doctor. When Ransome finally buys it, in a puff of smoke though it's quite impressive and nasty (it's that flame on his chest). This episode is quite nasty though - a dog gets it, albeit off camera and poor Mrs. Seeley - reminded me of Man Bites Dog when that old dear gets frightened to death - maybe the Auton was trying to save bullits in his arm-ery. So, she doesn't die, but the intent was there.

That Mr. Seeley should suggest of his wife that he's "never known a women as fanciful as..." her took some working out - oh, her wild ideas, ah here was me thinking I'd missed her feminine charms.

I made some other interesting observations in this episode. The Doctor has a coke habit - watch as he taps his nose when he asks Liz to get the "key" - yeah mate, that will open up the doors of perception. And if that's not enough the moment he gets inside the TARDIS he lights up a fat one, or smokes one hell of a bowl. No wonder the TARDIS is fitted with a metabolism detector - it lets him know when the munchies are kicking in. I also love UNITs interrogation methods - "I want the truth". Oh, OK it's like this see...

What must it have been like watching this first time round though, oblivious to what's aorund the corner, on the High Street. Oh we are the lucky ones.

Destroy. Total destruction.

Ah yes, the difficult third episode. Although everyone's favourite psychopath is at it again, one withering look from Channing and the Auton that was chasing Ransome hangs his head in shame. As if he's done something very, very wrong. But never-mind, Ransome's still descending into mind-gibbering madness at a fair old pace. On the specially cleaned up DVD release you can actually hear, quite clearly, the moment his mind shatters completely. And as for the scenes in the UNIT tent it's like some very wrong version of Carry On Camping.

And I have to report I'm becoming strangely obsessed with Sam Seeley and his wife Meg. I'm getting strange Edward and Tubbs flashbacks whenever they're on the screen. "I have a husband you know, he's up the stairs".

I'll not sleep tonight...

Plastic Fantastic

Spearhead from Space Episode Three:

The Auton had a gun hidden in his hand. So, his arm had arms. Sorry.

If you thought the last two episodes were disturbing you ain't seen nothing yet. This is the stuff of nightmares: Cabbage Patch man's descent into madness; the Doctor attempting to do a runner, leaving Earth (well, Kent) at the mercy of the plastic monsters - like he just didn't care!; the poacher, Sam Silly, being interogated by Monroe like it was a Home Counties Guantanemo Bay; the attack on that old woman who never did anyone any harm; the Auton's ability to run quite fast; that reflection of Channing through the glass; and the awful mess in the lounge. Shudder.

All rounded off by the chilling moment when General Scooby (sic) is confronted by a vaseline smeared version of himself.

Just how did they get away with this back in 1970?

I'd Rather Jack...

That damn doll factory! Creepy as hell, especially in the post-copyright version. And I'm certain that secretary fell off the production line, with her Max factor gone wrong look - lift up her skirt and see her plastic groin why don't you. Episode 2 runs like a cross between The Rag Trade and Secret Army and is typical of the good Pertwee era - the strange flipside to an oh so ordinary world (insert Tooting Beck anecdote here).

Am I the only one though to shudder at Caroline John's performance - she's so harsh and everytime I hear her say "in a police box" I can't get that funky BBC2 trailer out of my head from a few years back! She was an auton all along, no wonder they bumped her off the show between Inferno (she probably melted) and Terror of the Autons (they took her back).

I also now know why Patrick Stewart will be narrating the radio 2 documentary - his first role was as auton #1, struggling with a bush and doing his best to impersonate a pre-wheel chair Xavier. Well done that man. Bloody dummy!

Joking aside though this is still pretty intense stuff - very mature and the Brig has yet to become a parody.

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with...

And so to episode 2. The eyeless heads and assorted severed limbs of the dolls is really quite pleasing. But then they start showing the dolls being put together and the rest of that segment turns into the kind of thing that used to form the backbone of a rather cheap piece on "Jim'll Fix it" where some repressed 70's child wrote in to ask whether Jim would fix it for them to see how they get the bristles in toothbrushes. That is, what they really wanted to do was become ABBA for the day but the BBC coned them into some other money saving Fix It against their will and, with the camera rolling, they chocked back the tears as they expressed joy at being able to meet Brian who's job it was to insert each and every bristle whilst they mouthed obscenities towards the production crew.

But I digress. Let's get back to the episode and the subject of genital piercing. Yes, I'm thinking that another side effect of the regeration cycle in addition to the massive energy that's given off as every single atom re-arranges itself in the host body is the appearance of body art and other decorations. We have visual evidence of a tattoo where non was there before and I'm thinking that genital piercing also appears at the moment of regeneration. That's why it's 12 regenerations only, by the time you get to your 13th body there's not an a ounce of untouched flesh left to do anything with.

And some brief observations:

 
• All of Dr Liz's equipment seems to be there just to make a weak, peach flavour squash-based drink.
 
• I'm wondering what "special features" the doll that Ransome's invented has? Realistic cysts, a number of superfluous nipples and a copy of the A-Z for Bromley inscribed onto the inner thighs?
 
• Neck scarfs seem to be some sort of Auton order of the day. Is this some sort of requirement of the Nestene Consciousness? Wrap up warm lads, it's rather inclement out there on planet Earth.

And I do actually find the climax of the episode, as Ransome's menaced, really rather fine.

A Hollow Spear

Spearhead from Space Episode Two:

And the missing word was: fool. Oh well.

The Doctor is still alive. Phew. That would have been a short regeneration. He is, however, comatose. Out like a light. Off with the fairies. "Not a lot going on," muses Monroe; his own 'muse' has obviously left him. This means the Doctor will get to sit out the next 15 minutes again. It's like a Virgin New Adventure.

Suddenly, we are in the middle of a public information film about the wonders of plastic. At last - a black person on Doctor Who! Shame they didn't get any dialogue though. To be honest, this scene is, well, weird. Shot after shot of babies having their eyes gouged out, followed by a quick trip to the septic tank. It's unsettling.

And it just gets worse. A blazing row between the inventer of the Cabbage Patch Kids and his 'not-feeling-myself' partner is very, very tense; a bit like an Alan Bleasdale version of The Rag Trade. And there he is: Mr Evil, bringer of neck-aches. He has an amazing face. That make-up is years ahead of its time. The hair is almost lifelike! And those cheekbones! The Mill will have their work cut out competing with that.

Back at UNIT HQ Liz Shaw sets up a lab the moment the last coach party has buggered off. This is where Liz gets to really show off her expertise in meteorites while she simultaneously tests a urine sample the Brig gave her earlier. There's some nice verbal jousting here. Liz, however, knows more than she is letting on. She can quote whole chunks of the The Unearthly Child at the Brig, for starters.

Oh, there he is - the Doctor at last! And it's a pivotal scene - the first (and thankfully, last) time we see the Doctor take a shower! We also discover a hidden peice of continuity - the Doctor has a tattoo! And he was in the Navy! They'll be telling us he's half-human next.

And so the Doctor chooses a costume left by an eccentric surgeon. So, add "thieving" to vain, deceitful shoe fetishist. Lowrie Turner was right though: only Pertwee could pull off that ridiculous cape. The other bloke certainly couldn't.

Back in Poacherville we see the UNIT soldier's Dad accidentally activating an Auton. They are brilliant, the Autons. With their Jake Moon scarves and Gary jumpsuits they have this timeless blank quality to them.

Meanwhile, UNIT unearth another meterorite, and this one is playing the Crazy Frog ringtone. An Auton is sent to stir things up and before you know it there's a crash/spinning camera (delete as applicable, depending on your disbelief-suspending capabilities).

There's blood on the TV at 6pm in 1970! You wouldn't get that now! When Dirty Den got clobbered at 9pm there wasn't even a hint of some claret. The way the Auton leans into the carnage so dispassionately is incredibly chilling. You can see why Russel The Davies has decided to go with them again.

The next bit is simply marvelous - the Doctor defines the Third Doctor in one simple scene: he is smug, irritating, condescending and pompous beyond belief. He also employs his special gift for engaging in tit-for-tat bickering that will go onto to shape an entire era. But it's a moment that makes Doctor Who what it was and what it is, and I wouldn't change a thing.

We also get the reason for this story's title: "It's a hollow spear," says the Doctor, ominously. That warranted a neck-rub, if you ask me.

Cut to the plastics factory and the plot really begins to thicken and boil. The Cabbage Patch man just won't take no for an answer and he breaks back in. Perhaps he left his filofax behind, this being the 80s and everything. He descends into the villain's lair which is populated by lots of scary machinery and a room full of dummies. No dialogue. No cuts. Just pure, unbridled terror.

Bloody brilliant stuff. This is why I love Doctor Who.