Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog

Flash A-Ha!

I distinctly remember being thrilled by the news that the good Doctor would be getting a much-needed shot in the arm during his 40th anniversary, and the icing on the cake was the fact that this webcast would be "fully animated" by some award winning professionals. I was filled with with nothing but optimism for the project.

What we've left with today is a Peter Cushing/Unbound/George Lazenby-style curiousity that gives us a rare glimpse into a parallel world where Lorraine Heggessey didn't give that infamous green light, and our continued enjoyment of the programme would have revolved around exactly how good our broadband connection was.

It made sense to hire Paul Cornell for this gig: he'd written for the Doctor in all the other mediums and if anyone knew how to kick-start a new era then he was da man. He doesn't disappoint either, with a "classic" village-under-siege plot and some effective monsters that were probably specifically designed to screw with your PC's speakers. His Doctor clashes starkly with McGann's incarnation (as it should be) and the gritty down-to-earth approach is both darkly comic and occasionally unsettling.

However, the animation leaves a lot to be desired. Don't get me wrong - the design and overall look of the piece is great (although I'm still perplexed as to why our hero looks like a vampire) - but the motion is rudimentary at best; more South Park than Akira. Maybe the BBC should have been more careful before it started bandying terms like "fully animated" and "cartoon" around. Having said that, Shalka made the first batch of pan-and-scan webcasts (Death Comes to Continuity, in particular) look like cave paintings in comparison.

But the weakest link of all is, unfortunately, Richard E. Grant. It's hard to tell if he's just trying to stay true to Cornell's miserable, isolationist Doctor or if he just couldn't be arsed.  Not since Tom Baker in season 18 has a Doctor sounded so bored. If this had gone to a series (which I believe was the original plan) then maybe the 9.1 version of the Doctor would have lightened up a bit. Maybe that was the plan all along.

The supporting cast are uniformly fabulous, though. Sophie Okonedo is an immediately likable companion, Craig 'voice of Bravo' Kelly is always a safe pair of hands in a sound booth, and Derek Jacobi is simply sublime as the erudite robo-Master (and what a tantalising bit of unexplained back-story that turned out to be!). Oh, and David Tennant coughs in the background at one point, I think...

But is it canon? Eh? Eh?

As a tongue-in-cheek addendum to this (very short) review please go to this external link. You'll need the Flash 8 player for your browser; if you don't see anything happening you can get this free plugin directly from Macromedia

PassnotesNo: 34,638 Scream of the Shalka

Good evening. Hello. I'm the Doctor.
Like Hell you are, you're a cartoon!!! I am so the Doctor.
How, and more to the point, how?  Well, the story goes like this. BBCi was out on the lash with his mates one night, channel4.com and sky.co.uk, and after several pints of the Bishop's Finger and a kebab the other two bet him that he couldn't not only turn Doctor Who into a proper cartoon but also regenerate the lead character.
I know they've done webcasts before. But this one was with full animation, done by the same boffins responsible for Dangermouse and Count Duckula (the former now the recipient of an additional human ear grafted onto his back and the latter now quarentined with Bird Flu) and introduced the ninth incarnation of the Doctor.
Oooo, ninth Doctor. I thought Eccleston was great.  It's not Eccleston.
Eh? How does that work then? No-one knows.
No-one? You asked the Mighty Pixley?  Pixley will probably need to use the mind probe to get to the bottom of this one. Simple rifling through Cornell's bins at this point will not assist us.
So who are you meant to be? I am Richard E. Grant.
So after McGann comes Grant? Yes, this possibly means that Withnail & I is now classed as cannon. There was probably some back story that means when the Doctor reached his eighth body all future regenerations had to take the bodily form of someone from Withnail.
The Uncle Monty incarnation: Doctor, you terrible cun....
Language!  Sorry. An unwanted side effect of this is that the Argos adverts with Grant and Julia Sawalha are now also canonical on account of her role in Curse of Fatal Death.
Now you're just being silly! Am I? Am I really? Did I mention he was also travelling with an android version of the Master?
Like I said, silly.  No, that bit's true. I guess that the lonely nights in the TARDIS was getting the better of the Doctor and so he decided to create an anatomically correct version of his oldest enemy.
What? Didn't have the plunger to make a Dalek? I guess not.
How anatomically correct? Well, it had realistic parts and real hair.
Was any of this explained?  Nope. Not a bit of it. I guess we'll never find out what they had in store for this incarnation as just as the Shalka was due to make its debut the proper BBC went and announced that the show was coming back.
Ah yes, I remember that night on the Edgeware Road: The one where Gatiss described the premier showing of the first episode as "Scream of the who needs it now that the TV show's coming back"?
That's the one.  He's certainly a one, that Gatiss.
So, where does this leave us?  None the wiser I'm afraid. An interesting, if generally pointless digression in the already confusing, and socially inept, Whoniverse.
Whoniverse?! Sorry.
Don't you think that the Guardian might sue you for this? Possibly, but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Don't say: "Richard E. Can't"
Do say: "Paul Cornell Can"

Web Cast-ellan

Fate gave Scream of the Shalka an unfair advantage for me: the night I settled down to watch it, there was a total power-cut and the only thing left working in the building was this (battery-powered) laptop. You’d have to be pretty stoic to sit in almost total darkness, rain thundering down outside and images of apocalypse on the screen not to be scared.

In the cold light of day, however, it’s no scarier than your average fare but still rather good fun. It’s slow to get started and if anything could be said to be slowest, it’s Richard E. who just can’t, can he? He doesn’t get the character and as the thing progresses, he only deteriorates. Thank goodness he didn’t get the actual gig – I hate to think of him mangling beauties like Dalek. Urgh.

You’d have to be pretty stoic to sit in almost total darkness, rain thundering down outside and images of apocalypse on the screen not to be scared.

The rest is a very mixed bag. The military personnel are just there to be poked fun at but they perform the task admirably, with especial reference to Greaves who brings in plenty of hot sweet tea. Sophie Okonedo is mostly good, but in the middle she sounds very bored. Sir Derek Jacobi is a joy and if they bring the Master back onto our screens, (please-o-please-o-please) he should definitely get a look in.

It does help that he’s given some of the best lines in the script. My favourite is, “I am the Master and you will.....[Doctor enters] come to like me once you get to know me!” but why he’s a robot is anybody’s guess. Possibly that would have been elaborated upon if this had gone onto greater things.

Ultimately, it feels very much like a couple of very witty one-liners taped together by some incredibly boring ones and a slightly dubious plot. Who believes humans’ vocal chords can generate gas? But I suppose that’s just another leap we have to make.

The animation is......limited, to say the least, but the script should have compensated for it, like in Shada, by having less of the action depend on visuals. When it’s doing back-drops or something more abstract, (like the cracks of lava in the pavement) it looks really good but, like most animation, it just can’t do humans. Back to Richard E. Can’t, he doesn’t get the best chance here because without his inherent right, as a Doctor, to girn was taken away and any possible chance of some emotion is taken away by the stony faced figures on screen. Having said that, though, even if you ignore the animation, his voice isn’t any better so let’s blame it on the luvvies rather than the geeks, shall we?

Overall, (and this is admittedly short, but there’s something demoralizing about Sean’s hilarious post – is it worth trying to follow that?) it’s just bogged down by its own limitations and it also lacks an actor in the critical lead roll who can do the job with conviction. Still – there’s no reason to panic since the need for rubbishly animated web-casts has gone – all we have do is wait a week. That is, if we don’t all succumb to Avian Flu which has hit just 25 miles from where I live. Eek! Or should that be squawk...

The Bumper Book of Made up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about The Scream of the Shalka: Richard E. Grant’s performance was as stilted as it was because he was actually possessed by the spirit of Rodney Bewes at the time and Ian Levine had to be called in to perform the exorcism.

Recycling of the Shalka

With so much new Doctor Who buzzing around at the moment in cd and book form, now is a great (and expensive) time to be a fan. The new online adventure Scream of the Shalka begins tonight and it's another fresh take which underlines simply how flexible this format can be. Something strange is happening in what looks like Lancashire, and The Doctor has been sent by powers unknown (I'm betting on The Timelords) to sort it out.

Can you see what I'm doing here?  So that this blog doesn't fall foul of the EC quota for recycling, I'm reposting a review I wrote of Shalka from its original 'broadcast'. 

Being a fan hasn't really become less expensive.  If you're an old schooler, you're still shelling out for dvds and cds and books.  The new tv series is the icing on the cake.  But it's still flexible.  Re-watching this, listening to the new McGann audio Time Works and reading the fun comic strip at the heart of Doctor Who Adventures Issue One  it's amazing how they're all essentially the same premise, the same character, the same story, but they're all subtly different and could attract different fans.  It's actually somewhat of a shame that the mysteries of this retrospectively monikered Unbound story haven't been explained.

Someone once wrote that The Doctor is a fool proof role that anyone can play. I've never really agreed with that. Imagine most actors in a room with Davros, Dalek creator and s/he'll be exterminated before they can get hissy. I'm pleased to say that Richard E Grant is still instantly The Doctor even in voice form. It's hard to believe he's never seen the show when he manages to cram in both a Pertwee-esque 'moment of charm' and that McCoy-like feeling that something else is going on that's none of our business. There is also real chemistry between Grant and new companion, Sophie Okenodo's Alison, and it'll be interesting to see what develops.

See what's happening at the top there.  Eagle eyed readers by notice something familiar.  On reflection, although there is some magnetism up front,  Richard's performance becomes increasingly listless over time.  Rather like latterday McCoy he lacks a dramatic impetous, a t factor which holds the interest of the viewer/listener.  Actually, the best performance in the thing is Sophie, because it's a new, naturalistic approach to companion acting which makes sense and oddly enough less cartoony than anything seen in live action, even in the new series.  Not sure about that chemistry though.  I think I might have been grasping for complements.

They're really helped by Paul Cornell's script, which somehow manages to offer something new and different without dashing away from the essential spirit of the show. Although the opening echoes Pertwee's first story Spearhead from Space, this is a very urban story, the Timelord drifting through a much larger modern landscape, and ironically for a cartoon some of the characterisation is more realistic than the TV series managed at times. Cornell has always been one of the most flexible Doctor Who writers and on the strength of this first episode, it's clear he's worked out yet another way of French polishing the police box. Really do hope they give him an episode of the new TV series to play about with.

As Sean has quite rightly pointed out, it is interesting how much of this first episode parallels Rose and in fact before the new series was broadcast Cornell did mention how similar his and Davies' approaches were but also how they differed in significant ways.  This is a much darker rendering.  The Doctor seems to be in the thrall of some higher power rather than travelling for his own pleasure.  I still think he had the timelords in mind what with the wierdness of the robo-Master (which was an excellent idea). 

Was the new series announced before Shalka went out?  I can't remember.  But I was right about who would be writing episodes in that first season, although I thought Lance Parkin would be in there as well.  I do hope Gareth Roberts gets a full episode or two in Season Three -- it seems a tad unfair that he should be isolated to mopping up webisodes and interactive episodes and comic strips when he's written for Saturday nights before.  Sorry, have I gone off topic?

The look of the piece is a quantum leap from the Shada remake (still online). Animated properly by Cosgrove Hall, the framing brings to mind Garry Trudeau's comic strip Doonesbury as well as some anime, in its use of static figures moving within a space. The character designs are also good, especially Alison although The Doctor seems quite arch to me -- perhaps this'll be explained in future stories when he find out what he's been up to.

I still stand by that Doonesbury reference, but I think it's in much the same way as the framing in Kevin Smith's Clerks mimics comic strips, it's the static nature of shots and scenes.  I really wasn't a fan of the character design for this Nth Doctor -- too vamparic and artificial.

The Doctor is back ... again ... and he's looking really good for his age.

He certainly is.  It's a shame Cornell couldn't continue this experiment.  Any possibility that Big Finish might get the chance to resolve this story some time?

Like A Helter Skelter...

I remember when I first heard about The Scream of the Shalka. It was really exciting news at the time; it was the first serious attempt to do proper new Who since the television movie and they had a real proper actor in line to play the Doctor. I remember being a bit disappointed that it was only going to be animation but it was the closest we were going to get to Who back on our screens at the time.

Once I heard that is was going to be proper animation and not the crap Flash animation we had witnessed on the previous webcasts I was intrigued and when news came through that the animation was going to be done by none other than Cosgrove Hall I was very pleased. I mean I loved Danger Mouse, Jamie and the Magic Torch and Chorlton and the Wheelies and all the other stuff they had produced. I was certain that it was going to be good.

How wrong could I be?

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t really, really bad. It was just bad. I think the main problem was the Doctor, firstly he had a massive back story involving the death of a previous companion which had made him what we was; secondly he had the appearance of a vampire; and thirdly Richard E Grant virtually phoned his performance in. It would be like creating a Big Finish audio using Tom Baker voiced text messaging. He had been a quite good Doctor in the comic relief sketch but here he was completey the opposite. He was also completely unlikable.

The actual story itself is ok and is a very traditional Who story and was written well by Paul Cornell, and the animation in general is also very good (apart from the Doctor) and is very noticeably Cosgrove Hall. I did like the character of Alison who was the companion for the story. She was good and Sophie Okendo played a good part. Derek Jacobi was excellent as the Master although what the hell was the point of having the Master in it, only to discover that he is, in fact, an android copy of the Master the Doctor had created to travel in the TARDIS in. I mean I am sure there is a reason for that somewhere in the back story of this ninth Doctor but it just doesn’t work does it?

Then they only went and commissioned a proper live-action television series before Shalka was even online. It was doomed from the word go.

A pity really, as it could have worked.

8 1/2

This week, class, I want you to compare and contrast two recent revivals of the cult television series ‘Doctor Who’. For the purposes of this exercise you will look at the opening episodes of the 2003 webcast ‘Scream of the Shalka’ and the 2005 Russell T Davies-scripted ‘Rose’.

Pay particular attention to the opening titles and theme tune and how they both echo yet update the classic original. Then notice how the opening shots of both show the planet Earth from space, followed by a zoom into our opening scene.

(You may feel free to ignore the stereotypical ‘funny’ hippy: instead put it down to an aberration on author Paul Cornell’s part).

Speaking of whom, you may of course speculate as to what shape this animated version of the show would have taken had the - ahem - real thing not returned and royally pissed all over its (oven)* chips. Feel free to make direct comparisons between ‘ninth’ Doctor author Cornell and the show’s current television mogul, Russell T Davies (though please refrain from abbreviating him to PC as that would just look silly).

Areas which you may feel important to cover could include: the lack of any on-screen regeneration between Eighth Doctor Paul McGann and his successor / best mate in ‘Withnail and I’ Richard E Cant (and no, that’s not a typo) and the similarly metamorphosis-less opening to ‘Rose’; how the 21^st Century’s ubiquity for mobile phones has even extended to the TARDIS; and is the fat guy at the bar actually ‘Rose’ guest star - and whore for Abbey National - Mark Benton.

Additional marks may be awarded for noticing that the Doctor’s potential new companion has a job, a boyfriend and a yearning for something more from life (but no, citing ‘Queer as Folk’ performers as further evidence of media convergeance will only risk deduction of marks). Extra bonus points also for anyone who spots that ‘this’ ninth Doctor is also a lonely recluse, seemingly haunted by a recent traumatic event in his past.

Finally, examine how spoiled ‘Doctor Who’ fans have become these past two years: back in 2003 it seemed that this ‘animated webcast’ (you may use your own less tortuous epithet should you wish) was the very best hope for having a new series back on our screens, at least in some form. Now it’s little more than a curio starring ‘the other one’ from ‘Withnail and I’ and made by the team that gave you ‘Dangermouse’ and ‘Count Duckula’ (strikingly so, given Mr Cant’s curiously pale complexion and stylised mullet).

All papers to be handed into the department secretary by next Tuesday please.

(‘The Bumper Book of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts’ has this to say about ‘Scream of the Shake ‘n’ Vac’ Part One: writing God and all round professional nerd Joss Whedon threatened to sue BBCi for plagiarising his ‘From Beneath You, It Devours’ shtick from ‘Buffy’s final season. In response, Paul Cornell allegedly asked him outside for a fight).

* For an explanation of this joke, ask Paul Cornell for his favourite anecdote about being asked to write for the 2005 revival.

All the Sights of Wheelie World

I'm probably offline for the next few days so please excuse the untimeliness and brevity of this review.

So...Scream of the Shalka eh?  I'll get the obvious question out of the way first:  why was there a robotic Master in the TARDIS?  Was he a free gift with some Sugar Puffs?  I'd genuinely be interested to hear where they were planning to go with this Doctor before the new series intervened.  The script is peppered with cryptic references to past events, and if one word could sum this Doctor up it would be ennui.  But maybe that's just the performance of Richard E Can't.  I liked episode five because I like zombies, and also because the Doctor spends a lot of his time squeezing a giant zit on Alison's forehead. 

On the whole I found it a strangely dispiriting experience because (apart from the comedy cheeky soldier) it was somewhat po-faced.  A bit like Monkey Dust without the laughs.  I think Cosgrove Hall should have thrown in the odd character from their old cartoons to lighten things up a bit.  Maybe Penfold could have been the Doctor's companion as they took on Baron Greenback, or perhaps rope in Wordsworth the dog from Jamie and the Magic Torch.  If things are looking black and the story is faltering then you can always rely on Chorlton to brighten your day.

Come on Chorlton!  Fenella the witch is in league with the Shalka.  Bring the inexplicable robotic Master with you, and we'll defeat them in the space of approximately eight minutes.

Couldn't fail surely?