Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog

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Apologies for not joining in sooner but yet again, real life has been interfering.

Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks

I loved DiM, and while it has its draw-backs, it’s 45 minutes of solid entertainment. A few scares, some light education...everything you could want.

There are beautiful moments

There are several beautiful moments in the first part which I found particularly enjoyable at the second go. Things like the Doctor pausing to be invited into Solomon’s tent, Tallulah and Martha chatting and Dalek what’s-his-puss and Diagoras’ conversation about war and New York.

What could have been developed more was the “I lose everything...” speech. It was powerful and under-stated and a little more lead-up would have helped the “just shoot me!” parts of EotD sound a little more logical.

It was great to see Doctor Who being informative and the little history lesson was very well done. I knew a bit about the depression and such but I never had the juxtaposition of the shanty towns in Central Park and the building of the Empire State Building. It does worry me, however, that now Daleks are being associated with capitalism. They’ve long been fascists but is the whole of the right to be kidnapped? Just for once, I’d like a communist Dalek episode. Could be interesting.

A few problems jumped out at me: Tallulah’s inability to spot Lazlo, the pig men, the embryo which stops glowing once it’s picked up, THE PIG MEN, the way Diagorus’ workmen turn on a dime from chipper chirpiness to "WORKMEN: ALL ANGRILY TALK AT ONCE". All but one of those is a niggle and pretty irrelevant.

Ultimately, the pig men were just silly and clearly unnecessary

But the pig men...hmmm. Never is it convincingly explained why the Daleks should want pigs working for them and, as has been pointed out, it would be far more discreet for the slaves to appear human. Also, it’s hardly Neil Gorman’s finest moment. You can almost see the collar of the mask at points and while it’s all very admirable, I was never convinced. I do think his work for Smith and Jones was brilliant, however, and I like Sec a lot more than most. Ultimately, the pig men were just silly and clearly unnecessary. While they were just about OK in ep. 1, their weaknesses showed up more clearly in Evolution.

if you’d enjoy some formulaic, dependable entertainment then it’s the new Genesis. If you’re after something revolutionary and ground-breaking you’re bound to be disappointed

 

I don’t think this episode deserves half the criticism it got because it’s just so much fun. I love the conspiratorial Dalek looking over its “shoulder”, the building of Sec’s character, Solomon’s speech-ifying...where it falls down is only where it defies the formula (mistakenly in my opinion) and saves Lazlo. The point of the tragic hero is *he dies*. We don’t know or empathise with the human-Daleks but we like Lazlo so we should be upset when he cops it. Never mind that it’s utterly unbelievable that even Hooverville would accept a semi-pig, it robs the story of some emotional clout.

Evolution worked up until where it decided to break with convention

 

The thing about Evolution is, even objectively it’s difficult to judge. My gut instinct is, “that was fab” but I try not to just follow that. It depends what mood you’re in: if you’d enjoy some formulaic, dependable entertainment then it’s the new Genesis. If you’re after something revolutionary and ground-breaking you’re bound to be disappointed. I have nothing against the former – after all, there have been many brilliant paint-by-number stories (Caves of Adrozani and Talons of Weng-Chiang are both fairly standard plots zhuzzed-up by skill and wit) and, as I said, Evolution worked up until where it decided to break with convention. I can’t help but wonder, though, what could have happened had it gone another way. Sec would have made a brilliant recurring villain – what if he had been lying to the Doctor about his intentions?

I only hope Caan (the joke about whose name I don’t get – what is that?) will muster up a proper army soon, it’s time we let Daleks be Daleks and maybe stopped wiping them out.

Still, a thumbs up from me: imperfect but lovable.

PS: tonight’s episode looks really promising (I only hope it isn’t struck by the Idiot’s Lantern curse of mediocrity)and  I have especially high expectations having seen writer Stephen Greenhorn’s musical, Sunshine on Leith*. It’s an amazing show and whether or not you know much of the Proclaimers, it’s a damn good story. The night I went, the auditorium was packed and at the end there was a standing ovation and rendition of “500 Miles” by everyone who knew the words. It’s on tour soon, details here. Oh and if that’s not enough, Peter Davison guest stars in the Lazarus Experiment. Honest.

Vote Result: Evolution of the Daleks

Results are in for the second blog poll for Evolution of the Daleks:

• 55%: Superb – A Gourmet Gammon Platter
• 45%: Not Good – A Bag of Pork Scratchings

Come back after The Lazarus Experiment for the next poll.

Save the Pig, Save the World

Evolution of the Daleks

Daleks. They've had their fun in the past. Schemes so barking they'd give the French Resistance's return of the British airmen, from 'Allo 'Allo, a run for their Franc. As if gouging out the interior of the planet, via Bedfordshire, wasn't silly enough they now wish to attain humanity. Once again, without thinking things through properly. For one, their dry cleaning bills will rocket. Then there's the need to use a lavatory - how many times could Dalek plans have been disrupted in the past by a dodgy bladder and a winking sphincter? Humans are just plain messy, barely contained sacks of offal and faeces. And shoes. Oh so many shoes. Is that what you want, Dalek? Shoes? Well, is it?

"You might as well have Harold Shipman and Fred West chatting casually about body disposal methods."

Although, they have already gotten gossip, another fine human trait, down to a fine art. Whatever next? A Dalek moves into Weatherfield and is to be found constantly levitating over the back yard chatting to chinless, pudding jawed, Gail Platt about plans to dominate Vera Duckworth's heart and how the prices in the Kabin are exorbitant? The Cult of Skaro, they dared to think the unthinkable, gossip the ungossipable. Not since two Cybermen were spotted comparing notes on which white goods they'd slept, with in the hold of Briggs' cargo ship, have we witnessed such a ridiculous scene between two mass murderers. You might as well have Harold Shipman and Fred West chatting casually about body disposal methods.

"Let's stop all this a-cussin' and a-cursin', fussin' and a-fueding and let's all be buddies. Com'on, give us a cuddle, what d'ya say?"

Appealing to their caring, sharing nature was never going to get Solomon anywhere. Standing there, pontificating, with that shit-eating, "why can't we all be friends", smile of his. Ain't we the same? Ain't we all kin? Let's stop all this a-cussin' and a-cursin', fussin' and a-fueding and let's all be buddies. Com'on, give us a cuddle, what d'ya say? What d'ya think? What a prick. I suppose you'd have to have a heart of purest dark not to admire his attempt at kiss and make-up with a Dalek but seriously, extermination was too good for him. After death they should have taken the body, skinned it, and let Sec use it to cover up his spastic worm hairdo so he could pop out and about the streets of Manhattan unnoticed (just like when Spock lands on a contemporary Earth and pulls a wooly hat over his points). The streets of Manhattan, by the way, where everyone talks out of the corner of their mouths to emulate an authentic Brooklyn accent. Go-on, try it, it actually works.

"Reanimating a hoard of wipe clean Al Gores."

Whilst Sec's humanity grows (and, by the way, I do not want to be in the same room when that thing gets its first erection - god only knows what might set it off, perhaps the sight of a worm farm) the Dalek scheme appears to revolve around reanimating a hoard of wipe clean Al Gores. Could have been ultimately been good for the planet to have an army of Gore stalking the global environmental blackspots and inventing internets all over the place. But instead these ultimately turn into Robomen-lite, minus tin can brain apparatus, stomping around the sewers looking for Bernard Cribbins. Who amongst us didn't sit there humming the Robomen theme from Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150AD? Just wishing for someone to start singing:

"Right," said Sec, "We've got to go all human
This old plan is gonna save us all."
Tried to build them, couldn't even grow them
They was getting nowhere
And so they made a load of pigs and

"Right," said Sec, "What we need is power.
Get some metal up there on the mast."
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
They was getting nowhere
And so they got Diagoras

Whilst the pig slaves are busy reenacting the fart in the lift scene from a Pink Panther scene (did anyone clock the one far left punching a clenched fist into his open palm and mashing it round in a very angry and aggressive manner?) the Daleks are busy playing homage to another Hollywood film as, for no reason what so ever they appear on a stage with a chained Dalek Sec in tow, just like Jabba the Hut and Princess Leia. Although she had much better Dalek bumps than Sec. Perhaps breast augmentation is part two of their common sense defying plan.

After this adventure, even piloting an entire planet around the galaxy looks like a well formed scheme that's bound to work.

The Bumper Book of Made Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about Evolution of the Daleks: no pigs were harmed during the filming of this episode. Although 17 spastic worms did perish in the creation of the Dalek Sec hybrid head piece.

2007: Fits the Fourth, Fifth: Fairytale of New York

Daleks in Manhattan / Evolution of the Daleks is one of those stories that benefits better, I feel, from watching both back-to-back.  I was bouncing in my seat first time through DiM, but come EotD, I was sort of blahing my way halfway through it.  Watching them both together, though, I see much better what they were doing, and the things that bothered me the first time hold up a bit better on second viewing.

Here, a quick bullet point system, as I've not the mental capacity at the moment, nor frankly the desire, to stick to the standard paragraph review system. Besides, this fits my note-taking style better, anyway..

> Lazlo & Tallulah: What an honest sense of affection I get from these two.  They're so sweet at the beginning, when they're both still young, beautiful people valiantly fighting off of the Depression.  Later still, when Tal sees Lazlo in the sewer, she straightens his collar, strokes his hair, crying at what they've done to him, yet refusing to look away from him. Most people only wish they'd get that reaction from their significant others should they face the unlikely fate of being mutated into a pig-man.

> Tallulah's accent: Have you ever met a New Yorker?  They don't sound too far off, even nearly 80 years later.  I thought the first thing upon seeing Ghostbusters and hearing receptionist Janine Melnitz.  Then I went to New York.  Crazy.

No, I don't know why there's a manhole in the theatre either.

> Music: Spot on brilliance.  Over the top at places, but never really drowning anything out, and sure I get chills during the rebirth when that choral part kicks in.

> Diagoras and the workers: Bravo, Brava, Bravi Helen.  Of my heritage, a little less than half were Irish that were in the Ulster area until a few decades ago, and the other were earlier immigrants, who started in Massachusetts and bred their way south, easily passing through New York around this time.  I'm certain I had family somewhere that worked construction in NY in the 30s, so Diagoras and those workers, to me, represented a lot of struggle between Irish and Italian immigrants struggling for work in that era.

You wouldn't see Imperial Daleks whinging on about Skaro and New York..

> Why, oh why, were the Daleks mucking about in NY? A question oft asked as of late.  What I figured, considering that we're dealing with four sneaky and imaginative Daleks as opposed to hundreds or thousands of unquestioning, intelligent soldier-scientists explains a lot.  Imperial Daleks wouldn't stand around whinging about Skaro and New York.  Maybe there's a reason we haven't heard about the Cult of Skaro until now.  Oh, and Daleks have NO peripheral vision..

> One thing I never could stand about the 30's.  Those damnable white wing-tipped shoes.  I could have taken Human!Sec completely seriously, had he been wearing a nice pair of black boots, or some spit-polished military surplus dress shoes, or ANYTHING aside from those -- I'll stop now.

> There seems to be a pattern this year of having one good solid, strong supporting character per episode.  Martha was first, then Shakespeare, then Brannigan, and for the two parter, Tallulah and Solomon.  Wonder who'll be next week's?

> Musical number: Great...but where was the orchestra?

> The Final Experiment: Not sure what to make of Thay / Jast / Caan's reactions, but I'm guessing the pig slaves were dry runs for combining Daleks with Humans.  If they could perfect the process with a pig, it would give them a control experiment to base the Dalek combination off of.  As for the jellyfish, they may have been trying to clone a Dalek mutant to use for recombination.  The script could have been a little bit clearer on this. Also, why were they still recruiting for the Final experiment after Sec had started evolving?  Were the others supposed to evolve too?  Didn't seem like they'd have gone for it.

The assault on Hooverville: Full of sound, fury, signifying nothing..

> Just where in the hell is that lab?  I see Dalek!Humans marching through a whole bloody montage, but the Daleks blow their way through the back of that theatre within seconds of the Doctor signalling them.

> As for the Doctor being singed, I did some reading, and a lightning strike (just a standard one, mind you, not a "gamma radiated lightnings strike" is more likely to cause nervous system damage than any significant external injury.  Lighting is blindingly hot, but only for a millisecond. Long enough to burn out someone's spinal cord, but not long enough to catch their coat on fire.

Looove the Thompson SubExterminator Guns.  Want one. 

> Those pig slaves aren't trained to kill, they're trained to grab people and carry them to the Daleks.  And carry big crates.  Some savages they are.

> Martha: Sounds a lot better barking orders at aliens than Rose did.  "..and you've just GOT to pick it up.." was quite possibly the cutest line I've heard all year.  By "Not human," I'm sure she meant not PART of a human. Still good. Tone down the "OH MY GOD" moments though, that almost drove me nuts with McCoy's latest companion, Hex.

> David, david, david.. Shouty!David is still silly, but you have to stop and think: This is the guy that, when he shows up, you know you're plans already failed.  The implications that this guy can wheeze and gurn and he's still going to beat you is chilling.  I'll excuse Alonsi.  The Doctor's been saying random things in the heat of excitement for a long time.  4 words: Oh my giddy aunt. And could these suicidal tendencies be that survivor's guilt dredged up again by seeing the Daleks STILL being alive? I do absolutely ADORE Tennant when he gets that quiet sort of angry and starts losing his Mockney.  There's nothing scarier than an angry Scots that's STOPPED shouting.  Note to self: When trying to convince someone of something completely outlandish, pull out a handful of glop.  Works every time.

> Saving Private Lazlo: The production team trying once again to outdo Series 1's "EVERYBODY LIVES", or the Doctor trying to within the confines of the story?

> Sec's voice: Makes perfect sense to me.  The Dalek Mutant's no longer using an artifical travel machine voice box, but the hijacked vocal cords of an Italian-American New Yorker.  That's what I'd think he sounds like.

> The emergency temporal shift may have been a cowardly way out, both for the writer and for Caan, but seeing Tennant and Caan face off like that was chilling.  Also, can you imagine the frustration this must cause the Doctor?

> Next week! CRIPES That's a creepy rickety CGI monster.  Also, did anyone think Mark Gatiss looked like Peter Davison when he stepped out of that chamber?

Daleks: Invasion of Manhattan 1930 AD

Here are some of my thoughts on last Saturday’s episode Evolution of the Daleks.

Why does the Doctor feel the need to SHOUT AS LOUDLY AS HE CAN when he is confronting an enemy? Does it make him sound more commanding? Does it make him sound more authoritative? No, it bloody well doesn’t. It just makes him sound like a little man trying to make himself seem bigger than he is by shouting. It has been said many, many times before that the Ninth Doctor just needed to raise his voice slightly to put the fear of god into people, not SHOUT AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE like the tenth Doctor. He has been a bit more restrained lately, and all the better for it, but here is back his old “I can talk louder than you, listen to me” self of series two.

Why didn’t the Doctor regenerate when he had the lightning and the gamma rays from the solar flare zapped right through him? I was on the edge of my seat when that happened. I knew that he wasn’t going to because we already knew that he was in the rest of this series episodes which was a shame really as we all knew that he was going to be alright. Shame on them? This Doctor is certainly a hardy bugger isn’t he? After all, all it took for the sixth Doctor to regenerate was banging his head of the fricking console, and the seventh Doctor was only shot in the arm a couple of times! What is it going to take to make him regenerate?

A mate of mine asked why the human Daleks didn’t regenerate after they had been exterminated, when they had Timelord DNA in them. My thoughts on that were that the Timelord DNA that had been passed to them was diluted to the extent that they were not given the power to regenerate, and who knows if you can regenerate after being exterminated by a Dalek? I mean its not as though we have any practical examples of this actually happening. I reckon that not even a Timelord could survive being exterminated by a Dalek.

Why the hell do the Daleks just not exterminate the Doctor when they have the chance? I mean if I were they I would exterminate him just to shut his annoying Mockney accent up. It’s not as if they didn’t have enough opportunities to do so in this episode alone. I reckon there was about three occasions where they were about to exterminate him. I just don’t think they have the balls

I don’t think this is the last we will see of Dalek Caan and I do not believe that he is the lone Dalek from the first series. For instance the Dalek in series one didn’t know that he was the last of his kind, which Caan would most definitely know, and all that Dalek wanted to do when he found out that fact was to go out into the sun and die. Not the sort of behaviour you would expect from Dalek Caan who is even more of a typical Dalek than Dalek Sec was. So for those reasons alone I cannot believe that Dalek Caan and the Dalek from Dalek are one and the same.

Dalek Sec merging with a human certainly seemed to have quite an effect on him didn’t it? He certainly had to be toast as soon as he didn’t let Caan (or was it Thay or Jast?) exterminate the Doctor and then for him to want to turn the Daleks from their very nature in to a new, peaceful race, well that had to be it for him I am afraid. You can’t change a Dalek’s nature, not really, and Dalek Caan is the real proof of that. Sec had to die because he was no longer a Dalek and the fact that he asked the Doctor for help, well that must have been the straw that broke the camels back as far as the others were concerned. I mean consorting with their greatest enemy when you had the chance to kill him once and for all.

I thought that the double act of Tallulah (three L’s and a H) and Martha were quite underused in this episode, which was quite a shame as they really worked well together. They had a couple of good scenes at the end of the episode when they were up at the top of the Empire State Building. On the topic of that I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t have some sort of joke regarding King Kong what with having the Empire State Building and a dizzy blonde. I mean they even had an Are You Being Served reference for Christ’s sake!

I like the way the Daleks were portrayed in this story. It was nice to have the Daleks chatting and plotting away like they haven’t really done since the 1960’s and certainly not like in the eighties Daleks stories. Helen Raynor apparently watched some of the eighties Dalek stories in preparation for writing these episodes and perhaps she thought the same. She certainly made the Daleks interesting again carrying on the good work of Messrs Sherman and Davies from the current series unlike the crap we got from the pen of Saward and Aaronovitch (I liked Revelation so I will forgive that one).

I like the scene in this episode where the two Daleks are talking about Dalek Sec and one of them looks round conspiratorially before saying that he has doubts about their beloved leader. There was also the scene where the pig slaves are travelling to the top of the building and one of them was looking bored as the lift was taking its time to reach the top. That was amusing.

The direction in this story was superb and James Strong, like Graeme Harper and Joe Ahearne before him, knows how to direct the Daleks well and his episodes are all visually arresting and well thought out. The scenes where the human Daleks were marching through the sewers with the cross fades between sequences were very good and hope that he returns to the series soon.

What on Earth is going to happen to Lazlo after this story? I mean he still looks like a pig, and how long is Tallulah going to stay with him? I know that she said that all men were pigs before, but surely that is taking it a little too far.

It wasn’t a perfect ending to the story, but as far as it went it was a fairly decent ending apart from one of the Daleks managing to escape right at the end of the story. I guess it wouldn’t have done to actually destroy all of the Daleks because they are bound to come back at a later date. It was a shame that had to resort to using the same technique that they had used in Doomsday, but really what else could they have done?

It was an enjoyable enough episode and had some good moments, as well as some rather dodgy moments (see earlier). The acting in the episode was quite good and it was a shame that Ric from Holby City got exterminated, as he was probably the best character in the whole story. Considering the carnage in the episode it is amazing that Solomon was the only casualty from any of the major characters in the story. I expected Lazlo to cop it, especially when he was starting to die on them at the close of the story. Maybe letting him live wouldn’t have been the kindest thing to do for Lazlo in the long run. I am not sure to be honest.

I wouldn’t say that this story is the best Dalek story of the new series, but it does feature some of the best scenes featuring the Daleks since the 1960’s. I do think that this should be the last time we see the Daleks for a while as I think that there isn’t a great deal more that they can do with them.

The plot of the story might not have been up to much, as it was quite convenient that all of the Daleks, the hybrids and the pigs were either killed or vanished by the end of the story, so as not to leave any traces, but there were some really good scenes and some nice character moments on display in the episode, and I hope that Helen Raynor is given a chance to write another episode soon, hopefully one of her own design.

Whatever else it is, it certainly isn’t bad television and serves as a great example that Doctor Who can be anything that you want it to be.

Notes from a small island

I’ve been a bit busy this week and I’m afraid that I’ve not found the time to sit down and work up a proper article.  I’m aware that it’s Thursday already and the next episode is on in two days – So I won’t have time to go to print before that.

Just so you don’t think that I’ve forgotten you all, I’ve decided to post my initial “bullet point” thoughts in case anybody’s interested.

Trust me, the proper review would have been tremendous…

• Gamma radiation – I’m not Bruce Banner, but do they pass through the Earth that easily?  Wouldn’t it have made more sense to be facing the sun when the sun spot thing burst?  They could have at least filmed during the daytime.  Why did it have to be night when all the “action” took place?  There must be tall buildings in Japan that would have been just as useful and FACING THE RIGHT WAY!!!

• Lightning = 1.21 gigawatts of power.  (What the hell’s a gigawatt?) Wouldn’t that hurt more than it appeared to?

• Kaaaaaaaaaaahhhhnnnn!!

• Wouldn’t it be nice if the Dalek in “Dalek” was Caan?  That would explain where he came from.  And tidy things up.

• I really liked Sek’s idea – It would have be Kaleds reborn and hopefully not as quite such nutters.

• We seemed to have forgotten to take Martha home.  Except the next week trailer seems to show fun and games with the family.  Episode 6 before we meet the family again – Much better than the last one.

• Gammon radiation!  That’s why they were pigs.

• Poor resolution to an ever poorer cliff-hanger.  Sek introduced himself and then the Doctor ran away.  Total waste of a two parter.

• New York just isn’t healthy for Hugh Quarshie.  Last time he was there he got his head chopped off and this time he gets zapped.  He’s better off in Holby.

• I really wanted to like this episode without reservation, but there was so much there that just screamed “This is totally ridiculous!”

• Why didn’t Caan just shoot the Doctor rather than just running away?  He had enough power for the temporal shift, so there should have been enough for a quick zap.  That’s taking thinking outside the box a bit too far.

• Lazlo would have been better of with PT Barnum than in Hooverville.  What will happen once the economy gets back on it's feet?  Actually people are still asking that 70 years later.

"I am your future!"

Yes, I do still post here occasionally.

I haven't reviewed the new series so far simply because I haven't had anything to say. I enjoyed the first three episodes, and I couldn't really think of anything to say except 'Yeah, they were great'. And that's not really much of a post, is it? So I didn't post anything. Generally if I post stuff, it's because I didn't like stuff, and when I start complaining, you're gonna have a hard time stopping me.

The thing is, I don't watch much TV these days. It's pretty much our good Doctor and Heroes (Eccleston's finally appeared, by the way. Yay!). Not much else on, really. I missed the beginning of the other shows that I would normally watch - ER, Rescue Me, Nip/Tuck, House - and I really can't be bothered to download them or whatever, so if those two shows aren't good, I get a bit upset. No worries with Heroes,  since it's pretty much impossible for that to suck, so that just leaves Doctor Who, and as I've said, I've enjoyed it so far.

Then along came Evolution of the Daleks. And oh dear, the illusion was broken. See, I enjoyed the two-parter when I first watched it. I really did. Good ol' bit of fun, not really paying too much attention to detail, just sitting back and relaxing to a bit of late-afternoon/early-evening TV. But then I watched it again, both episodes, back to back. And my oh my, did the problems start appearing. Let's review, shall we? And since I don't have a set reviewing pattern, let's have some fun. Note that I'm reviewing both episodes here, since they're one story. Hey, it's my review, I'll do what I want.

The Good

The Effects. Absolutely amazing. I'm going on a 3-day holiday to New York with my family next week, and if the views aren't as good as they were in the show, I'm going to be disappointed. Beautiful. The Mill should be bloody proud of themselves, because they've completely outdone themselves once again.
The Actors. I know some of you didn't like the exaggerated 'New Yoik' accents, but I did, so shush. Most of the secondary characters were good, especially Solomon, which made his death quite poignant. The guy who took over from Solomon, Frank (thanks Wikipedia), was also pretty good, as was Mr Diagoras, who became this season's must-have Halloween mask. Tallulah wasn't fantastic, but she wasn't as bad as she could have been. The other, minor characters were also pretty good, considering the small parts they had.
The Regulars. Freema was, as has become standard, excellent, and far, far better then I ever thought Billie Piper was with Mr Tennant. (I don't think I've explained this here, so I'll quickly do it now. Billie and Chris - Father and Daughter. Billie and David - High school friends. One is quite touching, the other's just annoying. Guess which is which) David, on the other hand, was only good in the first half, but that half was very nice. I also liked how he rambled on in the beginning of Evolution - that's the sort of acting I like to see from him.
The Plot. Again, only applicable to the first half, which is just setting up the Jenga pieces, ready for them all to fall down. It did a good job of it, drew us in, made us want to know what was going on, etc.
The Musical Number. How many other shows could get away with having a song right in the middle of the action? I mean, really?
Dalek Sec. Yes, I liked him. He was an interesting way forward for the Daleks. I certainly wouldn't have imagined it happening - I shudder to think what else is going on in RTD's mind. Seriously. But the make-up wasn't that bad, and having managed to avoid being properly spoiled by the Radio Times, it came as a bit of a surprise when it happened. Alas, poor Sec, you had such great plans...

The Bad

That Football Goal. Every time I watch Daleks in Manhattan now, I'm going to see those. Thanks a freaking bunch, Stuart.
The Daleks. I seem to recall, way back in the Eccleston era, that the Doctor was bricking himself over just one Dalek getting loose, because it would destroy an entire city, maybe even the state. So here we've got not one but FOUR Daleks, who're running around Earth for months before the Doctor even arrives, and what are they doing? They're building a freakin' building. What the hell is up with that? You're Daleks! You don't need pig slaves! You don't need Gamma radiation! You're freakin' Daleks! Go forth and exterminate!
The Doctor. In part deux, he reverts to shouting. Dammit, the man cannot do loud terror, have they not learned that by now? Hell, he's doing it against Daleks, the masters of bloody great shouty threats!  Understated menace he can do very well, we've all seen it. Why does he feel the need to yell at everything that pisses him off? Also, not even singed from the lightning? Hell, I'd have settled for a little bit of smoke coming up from his hair in a slightly comedic manner, but not even that?
The Pig Slaves. Seriously, where did the pig element come from? If you can get past the sheer idiocy of the Daleks in not immediately killing everyone, I can understand them wanting slaves, but where the hell did the pig part come from? Were there any pigs in Manhattan at the time?

The Stupid

Laszlo. Who... why... what... was the point? How the hell did he escape, and why weren't they looking for him? if they were, they never said so, and when he rejoined the group there was nary an eyebrow raised... hell, there wasn't even any eyebrows TO raise. Why did the Doctor save him? He's a freakin' pig man! What's he gonna do, start a bakery? How will him and Tallulah work? I wouldn't imagine a pig's trouser snake would be very big... is she really gonna stay with him once she finds that out? And why the hell didn't Tallulah recognize him in the sewer when it was clearly him? Was she deaf as well as dumb?
'Urge to kill... too... strong...' No excuse. Absolutely none whatsoever.
The Emergency Temporal Shift. Weak. So, so weak. I suppose Dalek Caan may have drawn the needed power from the remnants of the lightning strike, but even so... Weak.

In conclusion: Fun when drunk, but painful when sober. For god's sake, even the script editor needs a script editor sometimes. Better yet, grab some of us as unofficial assistants, we'll help you sort out most of the problems. God knows we'd be glad to help out if this is the sort of thing that'll happen without us...

The Bumper Book of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about Evolution of the Daleks: Contrary to popular belief, Ryan Carnes, who played Laszlo, actually needed make up to look human, rather then a pig-man.

Ratings of the Daleks

"Martha?"
"Oh what do you want now?"
"I thought you might interested in hearing the ratings that the show got last night."
"Go on.  Surprise me."
"6.5 million people watched it.  37.8% share."
"Is that good?"
"More people watched Casualty for the first time in ages."
"Right.  So no then."
"It is a bit disappointing considering it's a Dalek story and they're supposed to be bankers for you."
"I see your point."

Time Shift, Time Shift, So Good They Used It Twice

"Do I have the right?"
Not if the Nation Estate
Wants to make more cash.

Evolution Of The Daleks

Crumbs, what a lash-up. Like an Airfix model Eurofighter built with Pritt-Stick, a lot of bits that came from different places without anything there to hold them properly together. I take it the Daleks' 'most audacious scheme ever' would be to drive the online fans bonkers with thousands of terrible fanfics that tie themselves up in great big Gordian Knots to pass off Dalek Caan as the one Eccleston meets in Utah, then. Poor old Helen Raynor - all that effort and worn-out VHS tapes of Genesis Of The Daleks that went into the probing, what-if questions about the alternative future of Dalek development, and yet the only question that sticks in the mind by the end of it is, "When does Gary Russell's appointment as script editor kick in?"

Nicholas Parsons says you have sixty seconds on Gumph That Make No Sense, starting from now...

When Paul McGann suddenly announced in the TV movie that he was half-human, was that human Ben Franklin, or was DT proving this week he wasn't half-Mysteron? And if Dalekanium absorbs and channels electricity and gamma rays now, what does it to the poor sods encased in the shells that are completely covered in the stuff? Bruce Banner meanwhile is making a face like the Hob-Nob he just choked on (thank you Sean) was used in a game involving DNA extractions of a more unpleasant type. And speaking as an internet furry, can we please please PLEASE call a moratorium on shitty stories where rewriting a person's DNA causes bodily transformation instead the hideous mutant cancers it actually would?

"When Paul McGann suddenly announced in the TV movie that he was half-human, was that human Ben Franklin?"

I'll give Evolution Of The Daleks this much; it was worth watching and didn't completely wind me up like Gridlock did, since at least the human characters this time around were well-enough treated. But never mind the moral transformation of Dalek Sec, marvel at how the Doctor's own character wobbles alarmingly back and forward from scene to scene. One of the best bits (and I suspect a defining moment of this particular season) is Martha's sudden realisation that adventuring with the Doctor will sometimes involve being responsible for the death of other beings; a hard blow to take for a person training to dedicate her own life to saving others. But the Doctor doesn't reciprocate. What precisely did he hope to achieve by throwing himself on his sword after Solomon's impassioned yet obviously doomed plea? What about his own responsibility to Martha; does he not realise he's condemning her own future to worthless oblivion by this along with his? Apparantly not; he just bellows at the Daleks to kill him, and is as surprised as everyone else when they don't. How does this eagerness to commit suicide at their hands and bring down the curtain on his own race square with the refusal once again to be the one to pull the plug and end the Dalek species forever right at the end? It dunn' work.

And since when in the Doctor's moral lexicon did the ends truly justify the means? He seems to accept Dalek Sec's grand plans far too readily and doesn't appear at all perterbed that it involves the extinction of a thousand human souls - souls that he's later apalled to see destroyed after they've flickered back to life. If he's so sure the Cult won't go along with the experiment, why is he so surprised when they pull the inevitable dirty trick? Shouldn't there also be an 'oops' moment when he realises he's sent Martha off with the psychic paper to sabotage it anyway? And even though everyone HATED the New Improved Sec With Blue Whitener last week, for a few minutes I hoped against hope that the producers would really go through with it, give Dalek Sharaz Jek a lasting legacy and finish the Cult Of Skaro once and for all, even though I knew they never would. Why not? After all, Davros is still out there somewhere in the continuity continuum, and realistically that's the only way forward for more new Dalek stories - bring back the one character that can re-engineer the entire species from scratch - instead of grinding out this particular blind alley with ever more ludicrous levels of cop-out.

But chiefly what was most disappointing was, not only did it go scientifically tits-up, it became completely and utterly predictable. Not for a second did I feel as though there was any real danger. Everything that got killed in the resolution did so in one neat little fell swoop to ensure a pat ending where all elements alien to the 1930s timeline were eradicted by the script (except for the one which should have). Doesn't that sort of strike you as the Dalek way of doing things? And Lazlo really needed to die - Helen Raynor fell so much in love with her 'tragic hero with an unfortunate snout' that she entirely forgot that heroes are defined by what they do. Lazlo should have heroically sacrificed himself and claim his humanity that way, instead of being utterly wasted doing Bob Mortimer falling down impressions until his miracle cure at the end.

"If Brannigan's wife gave birth to live kittens in Gridlock, would the afterbirth from Lazlo's offspring be a pound of sausages or a black pudding?"

And what is it with the historical liberties the series is prepared to take with bygone social attitudes? If Helen Raynor honestly thought that after saving Lazlo's life, leaving him to sweat it out in the worst squalor in Depression-era America in the years of spreading global imperialist racism leading up to World War II and the historical shockwaves thereafter constitutes an upbeat, humanitarian ending, she is SORELY mistaken. As if the politically correct cosmopolitan Coronation party in The Idiot's Lantern wasn't twaddle enough. Couldn't Lazlo at least stay with Tallulah for a while, since she should still have her showgirl job at the still-standing theatre unless all the bodies were buried under the floorboards there?

Honestly, there hasn't been a support character's epilogue that ill-judged since the novelisation of Mindwarp. Though in place of professional wrestling, the Doctor could have dropped Lazlo off in 1980s Japan to eke out a comfortable living as a random encounter monster in every 8-bit Nintendo RPG ever made. I'd have been more inclined to believe THAT.

If Brannigan's wife gave birth to live kittens in Gridlock, would the afterbirth from Lazlo's offspring be a pound of sausages or a black pudding?

Next week: Shameless Who fan and writer secures guest role on his favourite show. Not that this is a regular occurance or nuffink. Oh no.

The Bumper Book Of Made-Up Doctor Who Facts has this to say about Evolution Of The Daleks: the prosthetic effect of Dalek Sec's animated head tentacles was achieved by sticking Nigel Kneale's hand in a rubber glove and waggling it about.

You Say You Want an Evolution

I rather liked Dalek Sec and the Cult of Skaro back when they were first properly introduced in Doomsday. I liked the fact that they were able to engage in a bit of banter, and generally went back to the more chatty Daleks of the 1960s, who could have a bit of a conversation with you before they exterminated you and nicked your planet. It was nice to see this sort of Dalek back on the television, and I was looking forward to perhaps several return appearances for rematches with the Doctor over forthcoming years.

Poor old Dalek Sec was reduced here to some sort of weird mutant Dalek BDSM slave

Sadly it wasn’t to be, and after all his greatness in Doomsday, poor old Dalek Sec was reduced here to some sort of weird mutant Dalek BDSM slave. Such a shame – and a bit of a waste, really, he would have made a good recurring villain. Mind you, I have little sympathy for anybody who wants to piss about with the nature of the Daleks, so I was glad when the other members of the Cult turned against him – proper Daleks!

Sec’s transformation into some sort of being with feelings and a conscience was interesting, and there were some good moments when he was echoing very strongly some of Davros’s old dialogue from back in the day, but I was glad when they killed him off after what he’d become. Like Thay, Jast and Caan, I am a bit of a Dalek purist. Although having said that, maybe Sec was right about being pure Daleks and thinking along such straight lines hasn’t always been good for them – why didn’t Thay and Jast get out of the way instead of sitting there to be blown apart at the end? Stupid sods. I was hoping Thay would take over as leader too, I liked him.

Now we have to put up with all these “Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!” gags across the various Doctor Who internet forums and blogs

Instead it’s Caan who lives to fight another day – a touch predictable, perhaps, but they were never going to kill off the whole Dalek race. A shame too because now we have to put up with all these “Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!” gags across the various Doctor Who internet forums and blogs – mildly amusing when they started last week, incredibly irritating after the millionth ‘wit’ decides to come up with it now. As far as the series goes, the production team have painted themselves into a bit of a corner as regards “Last of the Daleks” type stories – surely they’ve exhausted that particular seam now? I hope that when Caan does return next year, he’s had the time to build himself a whole new space-faring army, and that the next few Dalek stories will have them as an all-powerful galactic force once again. After all, as the Fourth Doctor pointed out, they are never utterly defeated – “the Dalek menace always remains”. A ticket to Spiridon and some industrial-strength de-icer, please!

The sad demise of Dalek Sec from greatness wasn’t the only problem I had with the episode. I thought that the business on top of the Empire State Building could have been a little tighter – I liked the Doctor’s reverse Back to the Future business with the lightning strike and trying not to harness its power, although I’m not entirely sure I understand how a solar flare suddenly becomes lightning, nor how the Doctor clinging onto the mast as the lightning struck carried traces of his Time Lord DNA down into the new hybrids.

I also think it was probably a bit cruel of him to help Laszlo out, actually – I mean, what kind of a life is the poor sod ever going to be able to have?

I also think it was probably a bit cruel of him to help Laszlo out, actually – I mean, what kind of a life is the poor sod ever going to be able to have? He’s not exactly going to be able to fit right in to society, and I very much doubt that Tallulah will be hanging around for too long. Still, maybe if he’s lucky the Doctor’s cure was only a quick fix and will give him only another year or two at the most. I’m not sure I’d fancy sticking around for much longer than that with the face of a pig.

It seemed a shame, on the other hand, that Solomon was killed off – or rather, that he was killed off so early in the episode. Was anybody else reminded of The War of the Worlds when he attempted to reason with the Daleks? You know, the bit just after the cylinder has opened, when Ogilvy and the others go forward under a flag of truce to try and make contact with them, and then get wiped out by the heatray. No? Oh well, perhaps it was just me then.

Now, I don’t want anybody to get the impression that I didn’t like this episode – overall I felt that the good points outweighed the bad, and the design, acting and particularly the pace of the storyline helped to carry it along, and I felt it did roll along much more effectively than last week’s opening instalment did. Martha had some good moments too, displaying her intelligence and bravery again and continuing to show what an excellent companion she is.

And yet somehow… I don’t know. Perhaps it’s just that I like the Daleks too much, and didn’t like seeing them reduced to one left in the whole universe yet again. But this was still a very enjoyable piece of television with a lot to recommend it, and if the trailer is anything to go by, next week’s might well be worth catching too.