Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog

End of an era

I've been noticeable by my absense (hopefully) with the last two stories on the stripped down Who. Chinese delegations et al have prevented me from much telly time (sounds much more intriguing than it is), but I have to jot down my final thoughts on episode four of Caves. When Tom 'died' I thought Doctor Who had died with him, but Davison managed somehow to follow the unfollowable. When he sacrificed himself for Peri, my love of Doctor Who was replenished. It was and is, a beautiful scene and great TV. Sod what followed - that blinking new Doctor, this was a celebration and lament for all that was great about Doctor Who - it still mattered.

It didn't really matter after that. Sure, there were moments when McCoy recaptured some of the magic of the series, but let's face it, something went with the fifth Doctor. McGann came and went - it was like winning a tenner on the lottery when the TV movie aired. But now we truly have something to be excited about and I haven't felt this way about Doctor Who since good old Pete faded away.

Thank you Caves - I owe you a lot.

'It's not your lucky day, either'.

16^th March 1984...16^th March 2005

It was only when I sat down to watch ‘Caves’ 4 this evening that I suddenly realised it was twenty-one years to the day since it was first on. Back in ‘84 I was still some ten days short of my twelfth birthday; by the time I celebrate my thirty-third later this month, the first episode of the first Doctor Who story in nearly nine years will have been on. Man and Boy, I’ve never felt more excited now than I did on that night.

Let’s not have too much preamble tonight, or too many attempts to ‘justify’ this story in any textual or symbolic way. Because the final part of ‘The Caves of Androzani’ is simply the best final part of a Doctor Who story ever. No scene, no dissolve, no piece of dialogue is included without adding to the frenetic pace as this most heart-pounding of stories races to its explosive climax. It’s not simply one of the finest pieces of Doctor Who ever produced, but one of the finest twenty-five minutes in television I’ve ever seen. Twenty-five minutes you simply never want to end.

I won’t even bother going into the whys and the wherefores - if you know yourself what makes this story, and its final part, so superb then I’m not going to regurgitate what you’ve already read, thought and written a thousand times. I’ll simply say the following…

Salateen’s shockingly brutal death.

Harper’s direction as the gunrunners chase the Doctor across Androzani Minor’s surface.

‘Sorry Peri, I just can’t make it’.

Krau Timmin’s delicious ‘worm that turned’ revelation.

Jek and Chellack’s fight…and that scream.

‘She’s dying Doctor’.

The sight of Davison’s cream frockcoat covered in mud.

The Doctor symbolically giving up his stick of celery.

Roger Limb’s score, again - especially the funereal tolling bell.

The fact that, in adversity, this Doctor will trust an enemy with his friend’s life.

‘It’s not your lucky day, either’.

Morgus and Stotz: polls apart, yet united by the gun.

Stotz sadistically ‘wishing’ Krelper goodbye.

The confrontation between Morgus and Jek - ‘Do you think bullets could stop me now?’

Stotz’ just desserts.

‘Salateen, hold me’.

The race across the sand to the TARDIS.

‘Is this death?’

The Day in the Life-inspired regeneration, with the new Doctor almost exploding out of his previous self.

How, in just a few lines, Holmes & Saward capture the sixth Doctor in a nutshell.

The feeling - cruelly robbed just a week later - that here was the start of something big.

I was nearly twelve in March 1984 when Colin Baker became the sixth Doctor; I’ll be thirty-three the day after Chris Eccleston becomes the ninth. Despite the years, the excitement - the hope - remains the same.

‘D’you wanna come with me..?’

"Feels different this time."

We all know what happens. We all know this is an absolute classic. So let's start picking at some of the more succulent scabs in this episode of delight. It's Baywatch, Whostylee, as the Doctor runs along the sandy generic scifi quarry. Driven on solely by the thought of Peri dying.

The unmasking of Jek is another brilliant moment. And Chellak's response really sells the scene. This seems to bring on Jek's more tender side, tho he's still about as tender as a large piece of granite, marinated in a Worcester sauce based dressing and slow baked for several thousand years. But it's all a wheeze, as he's only playing nursemaid so he can almost cop a feel of Peri.

And joy of joys, the monster's dead!

Now this is a little bit strange, which leads me to conclude that Jek's androids have more than just a replicant role. There's a little bit of a Rocky Horror thing going on between Jek and his Salateen replacement or, as I'm sure he would have been called in my world, "I can't believe it's not Salateen". As Jek collapses into the open arms of Salateen I'm reminded of Rocky hoisting Frank'n'Furter up the RKO transmitter mast. And I've just had some frankfurters for my tea! Spooky.

And a final selfless act from the Doctor, hell we'd expect nothing less from this Doctor, brings on a scene involving Matthew Waterhouse's most convincing role to date, as a floating head. I do hope that they actually severed his head for this. Please?!

And that's it. An absolute classic and I've thoroughly enjoyed re-watching this. As Neil's already said, it's downhill from here on, bar a glimmer or three...

"is this death?"

When I met my then wife-to-be in 1993 I decided that I wouldn't hide my love of Doctor Who from her. Sod it, I thought, let's just get it out of the way and see what happens. To be fair, six boxes of VHS tapes and hundreds of books kinda gave the game away when I moved in, but there was always the attic...

Caves of the Bastards was the first story I forced her to sit through. She thought it was OK (better than expected, if I remember correctly) but what finally won her over was this episode. She just didn't see it coming. If it wasn't for this episode I never would've got as far as City of Death or Ghost Light, I'm convinced of it.

A couple of weeks later she was watching Timelash with me, so I must have done something right.

It's all down to the regeneration, of course.

Now, I like my regenerations to mean something. I want them to be the result of the Doctor sacrificing himself for the greater good, whether it be the safety of his companion, or the fate of the entire universe. Put simply, I don't like my regenerations to be the result of bureaucracy, falling off exercise bikes or walking blithely into a hail of bullets.

The 5th Doctor's regeneration is probably the best of the bunch. It's so unbelievably touching. I love the way that the Doctor simply surrenders to his fate. The fact that he takes responsibility for his actions and does the noble thing defines the character beautifully. The wonder, tinged with regret, as he considers his fate, gets me each and every time.

Factor in the excellent doom-laden score, the majestic, sweeping camera moves and the exhilarating BOOM! and you've got one of the most dramatic and emotional moments the series has to offer.

There are, however, problems with the regeneration. Sorry, but there are!

I like the idea of ex-companions drifting into the Doctor's subconscious (it's the most animated we ever see Kamelion for a start). I like the plaintive cry to "Adric?" (even though we're all secretly pleased that he's dead). I even like the vortexy swirl that envelopes the Doctor (even if it just happens to show up on the monitor when he's about to crash the ship). What I don't like is Anthony Ainley cackling like a loon. It's pure pantomime. It's got sod all to do with the drama of the previous 90 minutes and it sticks out like a sore thumb.

I don't like who the Doctor regenerates into either. But we'll leave that until tomorrow...

To sum up, I love Caves. It's aged magnificently well and I enjoy it more and more each time I see it. I want all my Doctor Who to be like this, and if that goes against the established grain that's just tough!

It's all downhill from here...

'I am telling the truth...why does no-one believe me?'

Okay, here are some great things about The Caves of Androzani which I won’t have time to mention tomorrow…

1. John Normington - has there ever been a more deliciously evil, funny and downright believable supporting character in ‘Who’ history? While he plays a largely peripheral role in the story’s events - as do many others - Trau Morgus is arguably the true villain of the piece, not Sharaz Jek. Witty, chilling and deliciously dead-pan, Normington deserves some sort of award for his performance here. And he’s utterly wasted later on in The Happiness Patrol.

2. The violence - Robert Holmes helped bring us ‘Doctor Who’s most successful - and violent - period in the show’s history. But once again, his use of violence in this script is purely for effect and not titillation. When Jek unexpectedly strikes the Doctor, it is as shocking an act as any seen in the show. And underlines how the following season’s attempts to ape Caves’ gritty, violent realism went off the deep end in trying to capture this story’s minimalist effectiveness.

3. Robert Glenister - manages to completely convince as both the real Salateen and his android duplicate. Love the superiority-complex touches he gives to the android’s interactions with Chellack - and as the real Salateen, shows how he’s the real brains behind the army’s brawn. How Chellack is General and not him, we’ll never know…

4. Peter Davison - yes, I know, stating the bleeding obvious here. But it needs saying, for if there ever was a ‘character arc’ to the Fifth Doctor, it was largely on account of Davison’s own efforts. Caves is the culmination of Doctor Five’s life as a wounded idealist, slowly ground down by the tainted, cynical universe he finds himself struggling to protect. Unlike others, I think it’s better that Davison didn’t go on to do another series, as the sheer brevity of this most pained and compromised of incarnations wouldn’t have had the same resonance otherwise.

5. Morgus killing the President - truly surprising at the time, and beautifully played by both Normington and David Neal. Isn’t it superb how, despite his ancillary involvement in the story, the Doctor’s presence still helps to unravel the whole fabric of Androzani’s society; with Morgus’ paranoia a case in point. And how fitting that he is reduced to the status of his nemesis Jek; just a hunted man carrying a gun.

6. The Doctor being tortured by Jek (crucifixion imagery, anybody?) and the suggestion that even he will sacrifice his friends if pushed far enough.

7. The fact that the real shits - Salateen, Stotz - actually laugh at people’s mortality, making them banal, but believable, people.

8. That cliff-hanger, and its punch-the-air heroic delivery from Davison. Isn’t it great - and all the more effective - to see this Doctor’s sense of impotence finally causing him to lose his rag. Alongside the ‘small, beautiful events’ speech from Earthshock, this scene is arguably Davison’s finest moment as the Doctor.

9. Sharaz Jek - by this episode’s end, not just a stereotypical Peri-lusting masked madman (Season 22, take note) but a sympathetic, tragic figure. A villain of truly Shakespearean standard.

10. That, even after all this, there’s still one episode to go. And what an episode.

"Life often springs these little surprises."

In any other "normal" episode of Doctor Who the scene where the Doctor's being stretched between two androids would be a cliffhanger. But oh no, here it's merely a piece of padding, they're upping the ante all the time.

There's more scheming from Morgus in this one episode that in an entire season of Dallas. He's playing everyone off against everyone else, Chellak, Jek, Stotz, the President. Ah yes, the poor President. Invited to use Morgus' rear entrance and then fell down his shaft (the effect of him falling is surprisingly good, as he falls and spins to his death). Wonder if he could call he could call Androzani Major's branch of Claims Direct? It's just a thought. And pity the poor lift engineer, perhaps that could be a new spin-off audio series, Androzani Elevator Co. Actually, Morgus is turning into some sort of Shakespearian villain. With this externalization of his thought processes he is really spoiling us. Unless he's not actually turning to talk the the camera but is actually just talking to me and no one else?! It's possible.

And what a cliffhanger. You can keep the final scenes of episode one of Pyramids this is the one that's stuck with me the longest. As the transporter hurtles to Androzani Minor, and he puts in a final masterful effort to snatch the Viz "Up the Arse" grand final with a tremendous gurn, the Doctor really does have nothing to lose...

"I'm Not Going To Let You Stop Me Now!"

People standing in rooms talking about magma pressure, mud bursts, and the calculated risks involved in ignoring imminent eruptions. No, this isn't Supervolcano, it's part 3 of The Caves of the Bastards!

Just look at the lighting! What did Graeme Harper pay the sparks to light a scene that went way beyond the usual "just whack 'em on full blast" school of thought? (It's ironic; you'd have thought they'd have turned the lighting down given the inadequacies of the budget). It is simply the most atmospheric scene in Doctor Who that wasn't in shot in black in white. Actually, try watching the next story in our stripped down sessions with the colour turned down - I guarantee it will leap into your top 10!

Part Three of Caves provides more of the same (which is no bad thing) but we conclude with one of the best cliffhangers ever witnessed in the series.

Davison is struggling with the controls to the mercenary spaceship. Trouble is, the controls are a BBC Micro computer. This could have looked terrible but here's Graeme Harper to the rescue again - he turns a man shouting in a cupboard into a truly defining moment for our hero.

Peter pulls out all the stops here and you really feel that this is an "all or nothing" moment. His selfless bravery is inspiring, and it's something we simply don't see enough of in the series as a whole. Stunning.

"I Was Once Comely..."

Sharez Jek is knocking out Cylons!

Ah, Sharez Jek. What a guy. Part Phantom of the Opera, part walking thesaurus. I mean, who uses words like "jackanapes", "comely" (I had to look that one up) and "perfidious" this side of Shakespeare? However, one thing is certain: he may wear false eyelashes but he is definitely 100% heterosexual. Even the Doctor (who is usually oblivious to such things) realises that the bloke dressed in the skin-tight leather and gimp mask is making a move on his companion. Jek even admits that he hasn't had a wank in years - talk about comely!

What is particularly exciting about this episode is just how fantastically awful everybody is. And I'm not talking about the acting (Maurice Roeves fluffs a line and it just makes the scene feel more gritty). Robert Holmes should have called this story The Caves of the Bastards. I mean, just look at these people: sadistic mercenaries, deranged scientists, amoral businessmen, corrupt presidents, and generals who'd rather kill their own men than have the piss taken out of them back at the barracks. It's little wonder that the Doctor can't wait to get the hell out of there. Even Salateen (the real one) has a bloody good laugh when he learns that the Doctor and Peri are about to die - and he's the closet thing we're gonna get to a good guy! I'm willing to bet good money on Professor Jackich being a paedophile.

And finally, there isn't a shit monster in this episode. I don't care what the others say, it simply isn't there. Honest.

"Every cloud has a strontium lining."

Sharaz Jek really is a marvelous creation. Once comely, by his own admission, he laments the loss of his beauty by skulking around an underground secret laboratory hoarding stores of Spectrox, a wonder drug that keeps its users youthful. He is, I've always imagined, the sort of mad scientist at the heart of Laboratoire Garnier, Paris.  Jek's love of beauty even extends to the extremely vain act of giving his face mask's fake eye some delightfully big eyelashes.

The scenes with Jek, Peri and the Doctor are really quite atypical for Doctor Who, as is most of this story. He is perceived as a baddie and yet he's not simply holding a blaster to the Doctor's temples like so many of his colleagues on other worlds. Could it be because you're not really sure whether Jek is the bad guy at this point or just one of a number of bad guys extending along an infinite spectrum of villainy? There's an awful lot of character back story going on here, giving some added depth to all the main players.

And at last we get to see where the inspiration for the 6th's Doctor's coat of many colours comes from, it's simply the andriod's scan of the Doctor's interior. Genius. Then hark, what horror this way comes? As the sound of a sweaty man in a foam rubber suit heralds the arrival of the unconvincing one and a fairly poor cliffhanger.

'More of a tennis player than a cricketer'

Why do those bullets need to have sci-fi flashes on them to show the android Doctor and Peri being shot? It’s one of Caves’ few concessions to its sci-fi format, and oddly feels extremely out of place. Despite that, this is for once no cop-out to the previous episode’s cliff-hanger; with the ‘revelation’ that the time-travellers are not dead being somewhat underplayed. Almost like Holmes is winking at the audience, knowing they don’t expect them to be dead…

Caves introduces one of the series’ finest villains. And it’s to the late Christopher Gable’s credit that his character’s occasionally pantomime villainy is never allowed to descend into complete farce. His confrontations with the Doctor also allow Davison to up the ante in the acting stakes, instilling his usually mannered performance with some real steel. Love the ‘prattling jackanapes’ stuff, and the Doctor grabbing Salateen as he mocks his and Peri’s predicament is also very effective.

All the hallmarks of Robert Holmes’ writing are present and correct - the thinly-veiled satire, the usurping of officialdom and, of course, the double acts. Of the latter, Caves boasts some great ones - Morgus and Timmin, Stotz and Krelper, Chellack and Salateen, to name but a few. And the fact we are no longer watching a children’s show is evident in the rich, layered dialogue these characters spout. Holmes always aimed his work at the ‘intelligent fourteen year-old’, and here we are granted some real gems; be it a debate on the supply-and-demand nature of business enterprise, or the sharply aimed political satire of Morgus’ Thatcherite opportunism. Graeme Harper’s direction, once again, greatly impresses; a mixture of unusual, hand-held camera angles with neat dissolves from one scene to another (or, in one particularly bold example, one scene within another). Caves was Harper’s first directing gig; and it was to the show’s detriment that his evident hunger and verve would only grace its proceedings once more.

There’s a real sense of desperate panic building as the episode progresses - the Doctor is ‘shot’ for the second cliff-hanger in a row, while the impetus for the time-travellers to find a cure for their affliction helps focus the story’s underlying theme: survival. Never before had the stakes been so high, yet so plain, to the Doctor and co. And it’s this focus on raw, tangible motivation that arguably gives Caves its resonance. Oh, and there’s that rubbish monster again at the end just to remind us that we are in fact watching Doctor Who…