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Mar 27, 2007

24 Questions for Series 3...

With extreme thanks to Sean for sorting these out, here are 24 questions for you to get your thinking gear around before Saturday at 7pm:

1) Which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why?

2) And which one do you think has stinker written all over it, and why?

3) The new assistant makes her debut on Staurday - will Freema Agyeman bring a BAFTA home next year? Or will Martha Jones have us pining for Rose?

4) Any guesses for the overnight viewing figures for the first episode?

5) And if it's a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time?

Okay, you're warmed up now. Let's try five on some of the things we do know are coming up in the next few weeks…

6) That snog in Smith and Jones - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust?

7) Will we see the Doctor writing Hamlet while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists?

8) A year late, but this time it's definite: what is the Face of Boe's message for the lonely traveller without a home?

9) Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets?

10) Can Chris Chibnall's 42 possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood?

Looking ahead now; what about the stuff we don't know about?

11) What's the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into The Lazarus Experiment?

12) As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in Human Nature and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power?

13) How will Blink - this year's Love & Monsters - be 'about the Doctor and Martha' by hardly featuring them?

14) Just suppose that isn't the Doctor's TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of Utopia - so whose is it?

15) And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head 'for ages'. So what is it?

Okay, pure speculation now. The sillier answers the better:

16) Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past?

17) What will be this year's 'Peter Kay Moment' of shameless stunt-casting?

18) John-Paul's been quiet on the blog of late - is this just the result of becoming a Dad twice-over or has his old mucker Graeme Harper been on the phone?

19) Will Totally Doctor Who's cartoon The Infinite Quest be better than most of Season 3's proper stories?

20) And how much will the fact that 'Sam Tyler' is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 'rumour' (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)?

So, to round off - four questions every Who fan must have pondered about the next thirteen weeks:

21) Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who's taking over?

22) Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves?

23) Who the bloody hell is 'Saxon' anyway?

24) And finally, do you think you'll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd?

Comments

1: I'll be surprised if Paul Cornell's two-parter adapted from his own novel isn't the emotional highlight of the season.

2: Not looking forward to The Shakespeare Coda if it's a larkabout like Tooth And Claw was. I want to see a historical figure keep his dignity by telling Tennant to stop being an utter twat.

3: Hopefully she's a completely different character from Billie, so comparisons become meaningless.

4: Seven million maybe? Three seasons in, I should think the 'first night' impact will be wearing off.

5: It would be more of a shock if they *didn't* have a Christmas episode on the go.

6: Oh God, none of the above PLEASE. Just let it be a brief expression of emotion and leave it at that.

7: My arse we will. That's the kind of reference Gatiss would write in but RTD would edit out.

8: "You are not alone." No funny answers from here, sorry.

9: RTD's 'episode guide' makes the writer's brief sound like that of the Five Doctors. It'll probably take the piss something SHOCKING.

10: Worse than Countrycide? You're having a LARF.

11: It'll be Mark Gatiss saying "Any old f****r with an Equity card."

12: Choice.

13: It could be about fleeting chance encounters and how such small things turn out to have long-lasting consequences. I reckon the title's a play on 'blink and you miss it'.

14: "I am The Master and shit, you're gayer than I am."

15: Jack dies after the immortality bestowed upon him by Rose is neutralised so that his timeline is allowed to run its proper course again.

16: What colour's the parallel one?

17: The equally unfunny letter-begging Matt Lucas. Sadly, this is not meant to be a joke. :(

18: What did you think the second kid's for? John-Paul: The Next Regeneration.

19: ************ALIEN PLANETS**********

20: You mean 'Mary Lets' is in it? Is that Barry's niece? Two Ts by the way Russel.

21: *******NOT MATT FUCKING LUCAS*******

22: Pfffffffft, the Judoon even have the Sontaran helmets. Next question.

23: He wasn't in the Time War since he was stuck in the heart of the TARDIS for the duration, and didn't get out until Rose and Mickey had a go at it with the truck. Which is why I thought the Master was the Bad Wolf.

24: Isn't he the Prime Minister that replaces the discredited Harriet Jones? In which case, the Doctor has cocked it up by his own hand. Again.

25: If they do something unexpected that isn't bollocks, probably joy. My guess is the Master has been deliberately signposted to turn our attention away from a completely different gobsmack ending (like Jack's death).

Ahh, you went and took a question out while I was writing up my answers, presumably to avoid potential spoilerage.

And where the hell's Davros?

Mostly similar to Damon:

1) Blink, Steven Moffat (or possibly Paul Cornell's, they're both such good writers)
2) 42 (that said, Chibnal's episode of Life on Mars this year wasn't TOO bad)
3) I fear no, but still no.
4) 7.9
5) Even if it isn't, we'll get an announcement by episode 3 at the latest.
6) Kiss of life, sort of. Probably removing some sort of poison.
7) No, alas. Besides, that's from before Fourth.
8) I am Gordon Brown.
9) Doubtlessly funnier, but unitentionally.
10) I would say no, but I fear I'll just be proved wrong.
11) "There was this excellent writer in the 21st century, and boy was he a good kisser!"
12) I know he does in the book, but does he change in the episode?
13) They'll be trapped in something, and someone will have to get them out. Perhaps one of Martha's family.
14) Santa's. He's clearly a Time Lord, when you think about it.
15) The Doctor confesses his love for Jack, then kills him.
16) And a lovely pink number for going to Tescos.
17) Jeremy Clarson on "Top Dimension", an intergalactic show about different TARDES (plural of TARDIS)
18) He was mistaken by The Sun for John Simm, and is in fact Mr Saxon, aka The Rani.
19) Depends what Gareth Roberts and Helen Raynor are like as writers. They will be the deciders.
20) Mr Saxon will get hit by a car and wake up in 1895, at the newly formed Torchwood.
21) Russell T has decided to go all out and cast himself.
22) Perhaps an auton or similar non-character. I'd like to see the Draconians, especially since they apparently had a joint empire with humans.
23) The Queen.
24) Crying, but for the wrong reasons.
20)

1) Lazarus Experiment. Stephen Greenhorn. The man created River City and a musical about The Proclaimers, dammit.
2) Gridlock. Joy, New Earth again. Although C---- C------'s episode inspires no confidence.
3) Neither - she'll be a solid mid-rank companion.
4) 8.8m including timeshifting and recordings.
5) That's already semi-official, but probably not at this stage.
6) Genetic transfer to stop her suffocating on the surface of the moon. Since the big atmospheric density puffa jackets are still in the TARDIS.
7) No, but he will have an exciting adventure with some cultists and a possessed Geordie serving girl.
8) We can arrange a low-cost mortgage for you.
9) They'll hit the town a la Anchors Aweigh. Highlight will be Dalek Zeppo dancing with an animated Dangermouse.
10) Yes. Which is why it should be illegal.
Looking ahead now; what about the stuff we don't know about?
11) You will obey me...
12) Choice. He starts studying in Hull, but eventually ditches the girlfriend via phone, and she goes out to buy a dog instead.
13) Black screen with occasional flashes and v/o. Derek Jarman does Madeline Stowe. Not a phrase you'll read often, either.
14) It's an unlicenced minicab TARDIS. But they won't take him south of the Horsehead Nebula at this time of night.
15) "Grandfather!"
16) It's the shoes. Red Converse for the present and future, white for the past, black for the alternative universe.
17) Phil Glenister.
18) Graeme's been on the phone. Asking JP about that CSA form.
19) It's written by Alan Barnes. What do you think?
20) Massive. He'll be giving the 10th Doctor a royal noncebashing.
21) Colin Firth.
22) Run! The Macra are scuttling. Well, as much as a truck sized crab can scuttle, anyway.
23) Biff Byford, Paul Quinn, Doug Scarratt, Nibbs Carter and Nigel Glockler.
24) Neither. I'll be out sunbathing.

1) Which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why?
Crossroads Part 2. Oh sorry, you're talking about Doctor Who, aren't you? In that case, 'Blink'. Apparently David Tennant is hardly in it...

2) And which one do you think has stinker written all over it, and why?
Gridlock. More New Earth cat nonsense.

3) The new assistant makes her debut on Staurday - will Freema Agyeman bring a BAFTA home next year? Or will Martha Jones have us pining for Rose?
No idea. She was pretty unremarkable in Season 2 though.

4) Any guesses for the overnight viewing figures for the first episode?
7.23 overnight, 8.1 timeshifted.

5) And if it's a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time?
I thought they already had.

6) That snog in Smith and Jones - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust?
What? Don't tell me they actually snog! Nooooooo!!!!!!!!

7) Will we see the Doctor writing Hamlet while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists?
That's a City of Death in-joke, isn't it?

8) A year late, but this time it's definite: what is the Face of Boe's message for the lonely traveller without a home?
"Your Conversation Made Be Recorded for Training Purposes..."

9) Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets?
"Halfway up the stairs is a stair where I hover..." Come on, you can't beat the Muppets!

10) Can Chris Chibnall's 42 possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood?
Yes. This bloke actually gets worse with each passing script.

11) What's the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into The Lazarus Experiment?
"No! I am not Peter Davison!"

12) As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in Human Nature and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power?
Higher Power. Eg: Russell T Davies.

13) How will Blink - this year's Love & Monsters - be 'about the Doctor and Martha' by hardly featuring them?
Far future - people are making a TV Drama about the real Dr and Martha - played by actors. That sort of thing.

14) Just suppose that isn't the Doctor's TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of Utopia - so whose is it?
Drax. Stone the crows!

15) And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head 'for ages'. So what is it?
The Master turns to the camera and says. "Oi! Martha! I'm the Master and you will obey me!"

16) Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past?
That has got to be the strangest question ever asked on this blog. Pass!

17) What will be this year's 'Peter Kay Moment' of shameless stunt-casting?
David Tennant as Dr Who.

18) John-Paul's been quiet on the blog of late - is this just the result of becoming a Dad twice-over or has his old mucker Graeme Harper been on the phone?
If JP was in Season 3 he would have posted a review in the latest Stripped Down Session so we'd all know who he was when he turned up in it. So, no, he's not in it.

19) Will Totally Doctor Who's cartoon The Infinite Quest be better than most of Season 3's proper stories?
Unlikely - Tennant's cartoon jaw is even sharper than Liz Barkers!

20) And how much will the fact that 'Sam Tyler' is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 'rumour' (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)?
Is John Simm in it?

21) Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who's taking over?
Vernon Kay.

22) Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves?
The Sontarans are in episode one, surely?

23) Who the bloody hell is 'Saxon' anyway?
A purveyor of quality shoes.

24) And finally, do you think you'll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd?
Shaking my head in utter disbelief...

Crosswords Part 2 is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Crosswords? Wasn't Colin Baker in that?

Which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why? Blink – cos I’m too tired to form an opinion and it seems to be the one everyone is looking forward to.

And which one do you think has stinker written all over it, and why? Gridlock – more bloody cats.

The new assistant makes her debut on Saturday - will Freema Agyeman bring a BAFTA home next year? Or will Martha Jones have us pining for Rose? No BAFTA, but a change is as good as a rest and I really need a rest.

Any guesses for the overnight viewing figures for the first episode? 3.4 million, I fear Bridezillas on Five Live may pull the audience away from the BBC.

And if it's a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time? The BBC may even announce that they are bringing Christmas forward to August to really capitalise on those light nights.

That snog in Smith and Jones - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust? The Judoon give everyone the horn and Martha and the Doctor just can’t help themselves.

Will we see the Doctor writing Hamlet while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists? Would that make it a Ham-shank?

A year late, but this time it's definite: what is the Face of Boe's message for the lonely traveller without a home? “Why don’t you consolidate your loans into one simple payment?

Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets? Neither as good as Manhattan Transfer.

Can Chris Chibnall's 42 possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood? No! Unless I’m in this one.

Looking ahead now; what about the stuff we don't know about?

What's the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into The Lazarus Experiment? “Chase me”

As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in Human Nature and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power? If it stops him from saying “brilliant” I don’t care.

How will Blink - this year's Love & Monsters - be 'about the Doctor and Martha' by hardly featuring them? By turning them into mashed potato figures on some kid’s plate. The following Monday children around the country will be screaming “Don’t play with your food”.

Just suppose that isn't the Doctor's TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of Utopia - so whose is it? The one made for storing the BBC books found at the back of Waterstones in 1998.

And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head 'for ages'. So what is it? People touching each other. In that special way and place.

Okay, pure speculation now. The sillier answers the better:

Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past? No, but he eats a shit sandwich every time he goes back to contemporary Earth.

What will be this year's 'Peter Kay Moment' of shameless stunt-casting? Patrick Kielty as the second to last timelord, twice removed.

John-Paul's been quiet on the blog of late - is this just the result of becoming a Dad twice-over or has his old mucker Graeme Harper been on the phone? Episode 7 is going to be a corker.

Will Totally Doctor Who's cartoon The Infinite Quest be better than most of Season 3's proper stories? Only if Clayton Hickman appears as the Crème Egg Overlord.

And how much will the fact that 'Sam Tyler' is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 'rumour' (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)? Yes, he’s playing El St. Mary in the season four opener The Els of St. Mary’s.

So, to round off - four questions every Who fan must have pondered about the next thirteen weeks:

Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who's taking over? Barry Scott. Yes that’s right Barry Scott. Right here, right now. Failing that Ross Kemp – cue “The Sound of Drums”.

Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves? The Kandyman, Kandyman, Kandyman, Kandyman... will be back.

Who the bloody hell is 'Saxon' anyway? A clever anagram for that cheap classical music CD company. Cue “The Sound of Drums”.

And finally, do you think you'll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd? Depends if the twins stay quiet for the entire season.

1) Which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why?

Daleks in Manhattan. It's got Daleks in it! (Or is that a spoiler?)

2) And which one do you think has stinker written all over it, and why?

First one, and the one that hasn't got the two main characters in much (you can tell I've been a bit out of the loop lately can't you!)

3) The new assistant makes her debut on Staurday - will Freema Agyeman bring a BAFTA home next year? Or will Martha Jones have us pining for Rose?

Who's Rose?

4) Any guesses for the overnight viewing figures for the first episode?

7.3 million.
I will be in Edinburgh so add three for a later PVR catch-up.

5) And if it's a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time?

What, as a voiceover a la Graham Norton??

6) That snog in Smith and Jones - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust?

Gratuitous 'it'll piss off the fans' moment.

7) Will we see the Doctor writing Hamlet while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists?

I thought Francis Bacon wrote Hamlet? Or was it Queen Elizabeth? Conspiracy Teeory 101!

8) A year late, but this time it's definite: what is the Face of Boe's message for the lonely traveller without a home?

Wipe me glass, mate, there's a good fellow.

9) Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets?

Worse. No singing.

10) Can Chris Chibnall's 42 possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood?

God that reminds me. Must watch Torchwood!


11) What's the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into The Lazarus Experiment?

"Hooray!"

12) As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in Human Nature and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power?

Damn, I didn't know that. Thanks! ;-)

13) How will Blink - this year's Love & Monsters - be 'about the Doctor and Martha' by hardly featuring them?

Well 'Blink' is a book by Malcolm Gladwell that talks about how we make judgements that are quite accurate very quickly. So this'll be about how other people who have met them in Season 3 responded to them.
Pure guess!

14) Just suppose that isn't the Doctor's TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of Utopia - so whose is it?

Oooh... hadn't thought of that!

15) And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head 'for ages'. So what is it?

You know I really, really hope I'm wrong about this cos it's disgusting.


16) Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past?

That's the doppler effect for you!

17) What will be this year's 'Peter Kay Moment' of shameless stunt-casting?

I thought that was the running theme this year?


19) Will Totally Doctor Who's cartoon The Infinite Quest be better than most of Season 3's proper stories?

Undoubtedly

20) And how much will the fact that 'Sam Tyler' is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 'rumour' (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)?

A crossover, you mean? Mmm. That reminds me must watch Life on Mars too.

So, to round off - four questions every Who fan must have pondered about the next thirteen weeks:

21) Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who's taking over?

Yes, and it'll be RTD

22) Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves?

Maggots!

23) Who the bloody hell is 'Saxon' anyway?

Dunno but it looks like another bloody stupid story about the British being brainwashed in to supporting someone - please will anyone give RTD a quick lesson in basic social psychology?

24) And finally, do you think you'll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd?

Neither. The episode will be postponed as Tony Blair announces his resignation.

The correct answer to all 24 questions is 'K-9'.

Do I win five pounds?

And if it's not K-9, it's Paddy Kingsland.

Because I say so.

1) Which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why?

The Shakespeare Code. It's Shakespeare and Doctor Who. In one episode. Does it get any better?

2) And which one do you think has stinker written all over it, and why?

42. It's written by Chris Chibnall. Erm... no, that's it.

3) The new assistant makes her debut on Staurday - will Freema Agyeman bring a BAFTA home next year? Or will Martha Jones have us pining for Rose?

Fingers crossed -- the reviews have been good and some have even suggested that she's a better fit than Rose ever was.

4) Any guesses for the overnight viewing figures for the first episode?

Nine million

5) And if it's a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time?

Yes.

6) That snog in Smith and Jones - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust?

Kiss of life

7) Will we see the Doctor writing Hamlet while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists?

No.

8) A year late, but this time it's definite: what is the Face of Boe's message for the lonely traveller without a home?

You are not alone. Or something like that.

9) Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets?

Worse. Won't be enough songs.

10) Can Chris Chibnall's 42 possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood?

Despite what I said above I've a feeling it won't be *that bad* -- the writing on the mothership has apparently been far more stingent.

11) What's the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into The Lazarus Experiment?

You will obey me...

12) As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in Human Nature and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power?

I've a feeling the season's arc will be related to some unconsious quest and a series of things he has to go through in order for whatever it is to happen in the last episode -- he has to become human as part of that journey.

13) How will Blink - this year's Love & Monsters - be 'about the Doctor and Martha' by hardly featuring them?

How about a what if story that retells the season up until that point but showing what would have happened had Smith and Jones not been there. So it would be about how important they are in keeping the balance in the universe.

14) Just suppose that isn't the Doctor's TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of Utopia - so whose is it?

Iris Wildthyme. Just because imagine those two together.

15) And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head 'for ages'. So what is it?

Either it is the Master or, finally, Martha regenerates -- or is revealed to have been a Turlough style interloper quietly putting the kibosh on everything. Or that Gallifrey does exist. It's going to be something mythology related.

Okay, pure speculation now. The sillier answers the better:

16) Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past?

I'd thought of that. Makes sense.

17) What will be this year's 'Peter Kay Moment' of shameless stunt-casting?

Some pop stick their heard around a door.

18) John-Paul's been quiet on the blog of late - is this just the result of becoming a Dad twice-over or has his old mucker Graeme Harper been on the phone?

Perhaps '42' takes place entirely in his brain.

19) Will Totally Doctor Who's cartoon The Infinite Quest be better than most of Season 3's proper stories?

Well it is written by the genius that is Alan Barnes so its possible. Although reading the Radio Times this whole season does seem miles more ambitious than last year.

20) And how much will the fact that 'Sam Tyler' is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 'rumour' (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)?

Now wouldn't that be a turn up? God, I hadn't noticed that before... it could be like The Dead Man series in 2000 AD -- which wasn't revealed to be a Judge Dredd spin-off until the final part. God, that's hilarious.

21) Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who's taking over?

I'm not sure -- he seems pretty settled -- I think it'll depend on whether Russell and co decide to go -- they might give David a shed load to stay to ease the transition. To be honest casting is going to be a nightmare -- we knew David would end up playing him as soon as we saw Casanova -- and the Casanova cover on the Radio Times. Our luck it'll be Todd Hollander or one of that crowd.

22) Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves?

No. They had to have the Daleks and Cybermen because they're fairly iconic. I can't think of another race that fits the profile or has the same resonance with the public. Silurian potential though ...

23) Who the bloody hell is 'Saxon' anyway?

'a mountainous climbing area and national park'and 'a heavy metal band' (c) Wikipedia

24) And finally, do you think you'll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd?

Just so long as the mid-season drop off isn't as severe as last year I'll be happy.

1) Blink. Because it's written by Moffat.

2) Human Nature. I liked Seasons of Fear, but no good will come of this, I tell you.

3) I never liked Rose, so I'm likely to find her unbearable.

4) Some absurdly high numbers that mean bugger all as they have no bearing on the actual quality of the episodes.

5) I was under the impression that a Christmas special was a given.

6) Oh, it'll be thinly veiled as something else by some obscure technobabble reasons, but we'll all know RTD wrote it in because he can't resist that sort of stuff.

7) No. Because it doesn't work in the doctor's own linear timeline, and RTD stomps out fanwankery like that.

8) Either: "You are not alone"; "There is another timelord"

9) Worse. Daleks do not sing.

10) Nothing is worse than Torchwood.

11) "Watch the Sarah Jane Smith adventures every thursday right after Torchwood or the bad wolf will get you! Vote Saxon!"

12) He'll choose to do it for some drearily soppy sentimental reason, that will annoy millions the globe over.

13) Dunno. Perhaps focus on a man growing up and getting old noticing the doctor do stuff in and out around his life time. Probably.

14) Well that just leaves the Master. Or, comedy option: The Rani!

15) A huge bisexual timelord orgy acros time and space culminating in a dozen K-9 units ejaculating quarts of oil upon the face of BOE.

16) No, it's his mourning suit! He switches once he finally gets over her.

17) Elize Du Toit as the latest regeneration of The Master.. The Mistriss?

18) He'll be a surprise extra in an episode I'm sure.

19) I'd normally be inclined to think yes, but I'm certain it'll be something nonsensical.

20) I'll be disappointed if does pan out. I'm hoping for some marvelous red herring that'll leave everyone amazed.

21) Tennant'll stay!

22) Hopefully not. New monsters are good, but I'm always open to see the return of the Nimon.

23) Another megalomaniac I'll be bound.

24) Dejected as a boy who got a plank of wood for Christmas.

"Perhaps '42' takes place entirely in (John-Paul's) brain."

And we all remember the classic that was The Invisible Enemy, don't we....

Thanks everyone for your replies. I suppose I'd better answer my own questions now...

1. Okay, easy one this - which Season 3 episode are you most looking forward to, and why?

'Human Nature/Family of Blood' - because it's Cornell and I genuinely think it'll do something incredibly moving with the Doctor's character - and of course 'Blink' seeing as I've almost worn out the DVD with 'Girl in the Fireplace' on!

2. And similarly, which one d’you think has stinker written all over it and why?

Neither 'Gridlock' nor '42' engender much enthusiasm. Though I think the Dalek 2-parter has the potential to be the biggest non-event given the shopping-list set-up.

3. Now then, the new ‘assistant’ makes her debut in ‘Smith and Jones’, but will Freema Agyeman go that one step further than Billie and bring a BAFTA home next year? Or is Martha Jones gonna have us pining for the Chipmunk Chav instead?

No BAFTA, but Martha's gonna be a breath of fresh air after the domestic-heavy Rose.

4. Speaking of ‘Smith and Jones’, any guesses for the overnight viewing?

Why did I ask this question when I'm hopeless at predicting these things? I'll go for 8.5.

5. And if it’s a particularly good one, will the Beeb take the opportunity to announce a 2007 Christmas special at the same time?

Far as I know only Season 4 has been green-lit. Will probably get confirmation - plus a title - as the credits to 'Last of the Time Lords' roll...

Okay, you’re warmed up now. Let’s try five on some of the things we do know are coming up in the next few weeks…

6. That snog in ‘Smith and Jones’ - kiss of life, body swap or just plain old Time Lord/human lust..?

'There was this girl called Rose. She was my...oh sod it, come here gorgeous!'

7. Will we see the Doctor writing ‘Hamlet’ while the Bard rests his sonnet-sprained wrists?

Rather like the fourth predicting his role in the Great Fire of London, the Tenth will put quill to paper just as predicted in 'City of Death' all those years ago.

8. A year late, but this time it’s definite: what is the Face of Boe’s message for the lonely traveller without a home..?

'Nothing ever dies, Doctor...'

9. Daleks in Manhattan: better or worse than the Muppets?

Better. But not a patch on Jason.

10. And can Chris Chibnall’s ‘42’ possibly be any worse than his efforts for Torchwood?

Probably not worse than Countryshite.

Looking ahead now; what about the stuff we don’t know about?

11. What’s the added line that RTD asked Stephen Greenhorn to insert into ‘The Lazarus Experiment’?

'Have you ever been to a Harvester?'

12. As we know, the Doctor goes all Superman II in ‘Human Nature’ and becomes just an ordinary, mortal bloke. But is this by choice, or enforced on him by some higher power?

Accidental. But as with 'The Girl in the Fireplace' the chance to take 'the slow path' proves so enticing he gives up the very thing that makes him unique. And renouncing his new-found humanity proves to be the most heroic - and personally tragic - thing he has ever done.

13. How will ‘Blink’ - this year’s ‘Love & Monsters’ - be ‘about the Doctor and Martha’ by hardly featuring them?

Some 'Intersections in Real Time' style look back at their travels - a la Babylon 5 - would be fitting of Moffat's genius.

14. Just suppose that isn’t the Doctor’s TARDIS that Jack gets into at the start of ‘Utopia’ - so whose is it?

'Heh, heh. heh...'

15. And - in a similar vein - RTD has had the final scene of Season 3 in his head ‘for ages’. So what is it?

Cliffhanger - the Doctor gets a chance to restore Gallifrey but only at the cost of destroying Earth.

Okay, pure speculation now. Sillier answers the better.

16. Does the Doctor wear his new blue suit for going forwards in time and keep the old brown one for trips to the past?

Like Eccleston's jumper, the suit will change to suit the timeframe.

17. What will be this year’s ‘Peter Kay Moment’ of shameless stunt-casting?

We'd have probably heard about it by now. But Jonathan Ross is still sniffing around too much for my liking.

18. John-Paul’s been quiet on the blog of late - is this just the result of becoming a Dad twice-over or has his old mucker Graeme Harper been on the phone..?

Sadly, no. Besides, Harper could barely remember who I was talking about when I quizzed him about JP in Stockton last November (miaow!)

19. Will Totally Doctor Who’s cartoon ‘The Infinite Quest’ be better than most of Season 3’s proper stories?

Better than some just by being shorter.

20. And how much will the fact that ‘Sam Tyler’ is a cunning anagram have a bearing on a certain Season 3 ‘rumour’ (not to mention the climax of Life on Mars)?

Probably an in-joke on Matthew Graham's part. But it sure beats 'James Stoker', dunnit?

So, to round off - five questions every Who fan must have pondered about the next thirteen weeks…

21. Tennant to quit after Season 4? And if so, who’s taking over?

Definitely - the RT interview has him virtually giving time. I've still got to say Michael Sheen for so many reasons (provided the bugger finds nine months spare in his schedule) but get your money on Billie Piper as a one-off female Who for the Christmas 2008 special (25/1 and you're virtually buying money).

22. Given that - Daleks aside - none of the other Big Bads of Who monsters are scheduled to appear, are the production team hiding a Sontaran army or a Zarbi invasion fleet up their sleeves?

Maybe no Big Bad returns, seeing as a certain Nehru-wearing individual may steal their thunder.

23. And who the bloody hell is ‘Saxon’ anyway?

The 'Axons' in an anagrammatical mood.

25. And finally, do you think you’ll be dancing for joy or sobbing like a girl at 7.45 on June 23rd?

Both usually works for me.

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