Chinn, Chinn. Kitchen?

Go on then, I'll explain that title. It's something that I was going to wedge in from the start, in honour of everyone's favourite fat suited happy-chappy, Mr Chinn. Derives from a half heard salutation as a round of drinks arrived at a bar table. Being fans of Withnail & I, it's the natural thing to directly precede a fresh pint of foaming ale, that and a gentle clinking of glass on glass. Except I miss heard it, thought that this chap said "Kitchen", and I just replied, rather bemused "Kitchen?". And it's stuck ever since. It starts to get a little weird, as this chap is now Chair of the Department of History at the University of Florida and he's actually told all his grad students this. So many's the time I've pitched up in the bars of north central Florida and said, "Chin chin", only to have the response, "Kitchen" back. And I've been making British people look eccentric ever since...

The Claws of Axos - Episode 4

So, to the action. And as Jo and the Doctor cross the undulating floor of doom, they embark on a little light mental arithmetic. I can't help thinking that in this day and age it might be a spelling-bee competition. Let's recast "Lead Axon" as Eamon Holmes. Or perhaps poor Eamon might be better suited as Mr Chinn these days. But, on the plus side, there are more shots of Jo's muck-spreader.

I'm not overly certain about this chap from It Ain't Half Hot Mum. He seems to think that his Dunn & Co suit will protect the rest of him from the serious amount of radiation that could be bombing around in there so only donning a pair of asbestos gloves and cowl makes some degree of sense to his already addled mind. I think not. And that's the end of him, with a spectacular back flip to boot. The rest of the gang look on horrified, then present their marks for artistic interpretation.

Thank the good lord that the Doctor's finally twigged that Axos has not got its claws into the Earth. I thought that they should have mentioned this last time round, to shore up the flimsy title a little.

And it's a case of Chinn the Buffet Slayer. Just where the hell did Chinn get that drumstick from? What's more, I've just skimmed back through my bumper book of made up Doctor Who facts and I can tell you that this scene, between the Brigadier and Chinn, took 178 takes to get right. The BBC studio caters were aghast at the amount of food they had to provide during the studio session. They went through 103 different chicken drumsticks, 4 Frey Bentos steak and kidney pies and half a side of goat.

Now, the Doctor. I've gotten to almost the end of the entire show without really mentioning him. But he comes into his own here. After installing a coffee percolator on the TARDIS console he invites the Master back for coffee. It's kind of The Gold Blend Couple but without all that tedious flirting as they're getting straight down to it. Is the Doctor actually turning? You do begin to think. It was mentioned earlier how interesting it might have been having the Master working for UNIT. Then I started thinking, this is actually Alias! You see, you've got the Master (Alvin Sloane) and the Doctor (Jack Bristow), two old friends (or where they actually more than that [no - not lovers]). Of course it kind of falls apart there, but it's worth thinking about. And possibly getting a speculative court case together to file against JJ Abrams.

Yates seems to be having some trouble handling his weapon. It's a cheap gag, and it's going nowhere, but someone had to do it. And by this point in time I'm getting really weary of the electro-harpsichord musak. I can only imagine that television sets in the 1970s came with a large muffler built in to take the edge of this sort of soundtrack. It was never meant to be experienced in 5.17 Dolby Sensorama Sound.

I'd also like to suggest that it's not just the Doctor's chameleon circuit that's knackered. The Master's doesn't seem to be working overtime on blending into the innards of Axos. Perhaps it just gave up and didn't particularly want to look like a tit (like the wall to the left of it). And things seem to end with a whimper, rather than a bang (that's after the obligatory bang of course). There's about to be an explosion at a nuclear power station and they've only driven a few hundred yards away. Oh well. Still, not as terrible as some of them. Probably slightly over ambitious, but if you don't reach for the stars you might only make the top shelf (which would explain all those shots of Jo).

Second under the wire, why was this beginning to feel like The Krypton Factor assult course? Make mine a large one. Chin, chin.

Comments

[Kevin Jordan]

So as I KNOW I am going to be last in this little "assault course" of ours (being a day behind and all) - does that mean I will have to do it all again?

Please god, noooo!

[Paul Songer]

you know what.

I stil havnt watched it.

I promise to torture myslef before sunday.

In fact i might pee the wife off now :)

[Neil]

Let me get the order straight:

So that's a large Pimms for Sean and a double shot of Taboo for Q?

[Neil]

Ah, a true connoisseur!

I've got Kevin down for a large Malibu and lemonade.

This may impact on my ability to purchase a remote-control Dalek at the event...

[Kevin Jordan]

Malibu? Tis the devil's drink sir !

Vodka is far more my tipple.

Anyway, as I can't make it to to Stockton and it's now 6.30 pm on Thursday and I haven't even typed up Episode Three, - you might get off yet.