Behind the Sofa - The Collaborative Doctor Who Blog: 'One day, I shall come back...'

To be honest, I’ve been past caring about this story since episode two - so rather than bore you all again as to how lethargic, characterless and painful the past three hours plus of this inaugural week of Stripped Down 2 has been, I’ll just get a few token digs in before I move on to something much, much more important. And I think you’ll agree that that something’s well worth the wait…

Okay, that model of the Dalek capsule is a bog-roll, isn’t it? And I had to smirk when the Robomen chanted ‘Pull’ with all the enthusiasm of a team of chartered accountants on mogadon. ‘We are the masters of India’ - possibly the most bizarre line in a story already choc-full of bizarre lines, and all that stuff with Barbara trying to outwit them with talk of Red Indians (even doing a Red Indian impression at one point to confuse the Robomen) is garbage, surely? Then there’s Francis Chagrin’s score, finally losing all sense of restraint in a cacophony of cymbals and drums that threaten to drown out the dialogue some twenty-odd years before the grand-master himself, Sir Keff of McCulloch. And the Dalek shouldn’t really be able to see his sucker from his own eye point-of-view, should he?

One the plus side, Hartnell at least is on fine form - of which more soon - with his ‘don’t stop to pick daisies’ to David and Susan being both affectionate and witty. Shame about the fluffing, which here almost reaches Tourette’s level; but he’s hardly alone in mangling his script into near incomprehension.

But forget all that - all that matters in this last episode is the final seven minutes, which are quite possibly the most beautiful moments in the whole of 60s Who. ‘Small beautiful events’, someone once said - and the Doctor and his grand-daughter saying goodbye to one another are so tear-jerkingly touching as to forgive even this most mundane of stories. If having to sit through over three hours of turgid, style-less guff always led to such a moment, then it would still be worth it at least nine times out of ten.

Funny how a broken shoe comes to symbolise the paternalistic hold the Doctor and Susan have for one another - she’s unwilling to give up her responsibility towards him, so it is left for him to make the move; shutting her out of the TARDIS forever. And despite all the centuries of adventures and derring-do that await him afterwards, could this be arguably the bravest thing the Doctor has ever - and will ever - do: give up his only blood kin for the sake of her own happiness?

Even such a well-scripted and (unusually for Richard Martin) well directed scene would amount to nothing but for the exemplary way in which Hartnell and Ford say their goodbyes. There’s an emotion here that goes beyond the scripted page, as it’s clear that this first break-up of the original TARDIS team affects both performers deeply. Would that - when the time comes - Billie Piper’s Rose gets as good a send-off…

And isn’t it time - ‘Five Doctors’ aside - that the Doctor and his only known relative finally did have that ‘one day…’ reunion? Given the emotional depth that Russell T Davies has instilled in our beloved show, then I can’t think of a better time than now. And as a side note, is there a more perfect speech to encapsulate the indomitable durability of Doctor Who as a whole? ‘One day, I shall come back…‘; and as we all now know to our immense joy, last March he did.

(I’m off to the south coast - where I just might take in a certain exhibition - for a much-needed week’s R&R from Monday (so will miss the Stripped Down sessions on the Cushing movies) but I’ll see you all back here - bright-eyed and bushy-tailed - for ‘Tomb of the Cybermen’ on Monday week…)