The Emperor's New Clothes...
...and he's got a new bucket of cerebrospinal fluid for his brain parts too. He's also got the regulation bling make-over and is looking every bit as important. He's also embarking on a Jamie's School Dinners exercise and filleting humans and creating Tellurian Twizzlers. But the Daleks are half-human. Sort of. Is someone trying to usurp Matthew Jacob's crown for dumb-assed lines?
Satellite 5's license was suspended cos they stopped broadcasting wall to wall reality game shows. Should ITV manage to achieve the same result then there would be a national outpouring of gratitude.
Capt'n Jack's tongue finally sees some action. The "gay" kiss isn't the first for Doctor Who, Tachyon TV broke that exclusive news some months ago, but it's nicely done. I can only imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth that will ensure following that scene. I guess that the people who'll have a problem with the Doc kissing a girl will be exploding, at periodic intervals over the next week, at the sight of him getting a snog from a man.
Doctor offers to take Rose to Marbella to escape all this death and destruction. And with talk of a visit to the planet Barcelona what's the betting that the Doctor's ship takes on a garish orange livery for the next series and has the phrase easyTARDIS emblazoned down all four sides. And with the current fashion for sexual innuendo that phrase could have a double meaning. A dimensionally transcendental knocking shop, anyone? Emergency Program 1. A holographic Doctor. Where have we seen that before? It's all a little George Lucas. I was half expecting a cheesy swipe transition to take us into the next scene.
And whilst the world of the future burns, the chickens turn. Shock whilst you learn that the pizza place on Mintner Road sells pizzas. And the fact that the cafe they're sitting in has gone up market and has started selling coleslaw. But it tastes clinical. Perhaps that's the repeating theme for next year's series, aliens who are attempting to infiltrate the galaxy through the provision of tainted 'slaw. Either that or it's got something to do with chickens. That's the second time we've had poultry mentioned, to my recollection.
When the Daleks are spewing from the Emperor's ship I swear that there's the flash and the click of a speed camera as one Dalek flies past. Perhaps Daleks are behind the technology used by police forces up and down the land. Unless it's the other way around and Davros was in fact a lowly desk Sergeant who was frequently overlooked for promotion and took his revenge in planning the creation of a deadly race of mutants who could seize control over the entire Universe and give him what he always wanted, to become a Detective Inspector who doesn't play by the rules and is seen as a bit of a maverick. Teamed up with a wet behind the ears side-kick he solves crime after crime in the sleepy little crime-ridden hamlet of......
I think I can get my head around the Bad Wolf repeated meme explanation. It's kind of a game of Countdown throughout space and time, with Carol Voderman playing the important part of the TARDIS (with the rest of the TARDIS being played by versatile character actor and the only voice you ever hear on Radio 4 Martin Jarvis). So all the messages were leading Rose to rip apart the TARDIS console with a 24 Hour coach works rescue vehicle.
I thought that things were building nicely up to another classic Genesis of the Daleks moment, "Hail the Doctor, the Great Exterminator", and I suppose it does in its way. Back then the Doctor chickened out (poultry again) only to regret it and try to return to finish the job. But here the Doctor freely admits to preferring to be a coward.
Now, let me see, is there something I've forgotten...? Oh yes, there was a regeneration tacked onto the end.
I think it was fairly criminal how the regeneration was all but thrown away. I thought that the entire series was building up to this but all we get is a little trembling hand, a look of worry from the Doctor and in a flash, some other bloke. How much better it might have been if there was no explanation about what was happening, if Rose didn't witness it and she came too in the TARDIS with some strange bloke standing there in the Doctor's clothes. Yes it might have been a little too Time and the Rani but it would have allowed the audience to wonder what the hell had just happened along with Rose.
Above all it was the ending that made me go back and view the episode again before I could make my mind up about it. I was left fairly non-plused by it all first time round. But having seen it again I think I can just about live with what happened in the last few minutes in the TARDIS. Everything before that was first class.
Well, that's that. Closing statements to follow when I've got a moment...