Sex Bomb

I've just read an interview with Steven Moffat where he promises that his season two episodes will be "sexier" than The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances.

Sexier???

Is that really possible without Abi Titmuss and Jennifer Ellison being involved (maybe The Star know something we don't?). Have Television X secured exclusive distribution rights? Will series two require a bloody pin-number?

Forget whether this was the scariest Doctor Who story ever made (it is by the way) it was certainly the sexiest - bar none. Forget Leela in her shami, or Lalla in her school uniform (if you can), this was smut and innuendo with knobs on.

Sex, sex, sex. Everywhere you turn: from the bisexual 51st Century Boy, Jack, to the revelation about where that bloke got his "meat" ration from, to the underage bonking admission from Nancy (who you can now fancy, safe in the knowledge that you're not doing anything wrong). Then there's Rose fantising about Jack losing his virginity and the fact that she practically invited the Doctor for a snog (again!), monsters that look like they are all involved in a particularly laid-back swinger's party, and straight-faced references to "resonating concrete" which would have made Robin Askwith blush.

And if the subtext about sonic envy was too subtle for the audience, how about a scene featuring Jack astride a HUGE bomb as he compliments Rose on her, ahem, T-shirt. Hilariously, the fanboys are distracted by yet another Bad Wolf reference to notice that Moffat actually wrote a bloody good 'Carry On...' movie.

And yet it works. Mostly because it's genuinely amusing, but also because it has so much more to offer. It's been said before, far more eloquently than me on this very blog, that this episode is choc-full of iconic moments which certainly would have imprinted themselves on Mary Whitehoue's minds-eye if she was alive today (and hadn't suffered an auerism thanks to all the cock references). The TARDIS phone ringing, the skull-cracking gas masks, the "Are You My Mummy?" mantra, the psyhic typewriter, the banana shaped like a penis...

The climax was - dare I even use the word? - fantastic. It really is remarkably rare for Doctor Who to get an honest-to-god happy ending where the hero wins through without any loss of life. In any other show it would be par for the course, but with Doctor Who it really is a notable victory, and a well deserved one for the ninth Doctor, given his rather pathetic performance as an intergalactic troubleshooter in the series so far. I was very close to weeping tears of joy and I lit a fag as soon as the end credits were rolling.

Ironically, he was shouting "Everybody lives!" in the middle of a German air-raid so he's probably sadly mistaken too.

Last week I claimed that The Empty Child had raised the bar ridiculously high. The Doctor Dances takes that bar, sticks it in the ground, and then proceeds to use it for a pole-dance routine so stunning, so liberating, so unashamedly unique, that even if the next three acts are comprised of the reanimated corpses of The Roly Polys, you'll still leave the establishment with a big, fat smile on your face.

Comments

[Wayne]

There is nothing wrong with "Doctor Who" being sexy and funny with it. Not sure that I want to see him snogging all and sundry mind you.

To me, he is still, very much an asexual character. Though I would be more than happy to see him have a more flirtatious manner, that CE is sooo good at doing.

[Paul Hayes]

Who or what are or were "The Roly Polys" ... ?

[Wayne]

Oh dear, showing your age now Paul (or should I say that Neil and I are showing our age?). The Roly Poly's were a singing and dancing act. They were made up of ladies with very voluptuous figures. They gained prominence by appearing on the Les Dawson show.

The following link show's a picture of Les Dawson with the Roly Polys

http://www.stockportexpress.co.uk/images/show/5/5044.html

[Paul Hayes]

I see! The name was familiar but I didn't know what they did.

I now feel suitably enlightened! :-)

They don't make television like that any more... ;-)

[x]

Speaking of resonating concrete, wasn't this the first time that the Doctor let an assistant use his screwdriver? And was it just me who noticed that they used it as a twosome?

Just me then?

Right.

[Paul Songer]

voluptuous! how dare you besmirch that wonderful word :(

[Wayne]

Sorry Paul, maybe I should have used something along the lines of "ladies of a large disposition" or maybe "ladies with a wide surface area"

Oh dear, I do seem to be digging a big black hole for myself, all because I refuse to use the "F" word.

[Neil]

Let's just put it this way - they'd make great Slitheens.

[e]

Order of the British Empire, Special Edition?

[Paul Songer]

thats better :)

[Paul Hayes]

Um... Wayne, you've lost me? What are you sorry for?

[Wayne]

Sorry Paul H., those (previous) apologises were for Paul S. for using his favourite word without due care.

[Paul Hayes]

This is all getting far too confusing. Everyone stop being called Paul at once!

["Paul" e]

Oops. Sorry about that.

["Paul" Wayne]

Yeah, really sorry (again!) about that too...