Blake's 7 Rebooted

Blake's 7 is returning to our screens, and in a move that will directly parallel the recent successful remake of Battlestar Galactica, the series will be completely rebooted.

However, unlike BSG, the new B7 will lose all of its gritty realism in favour of a more disco-in-space tone.

Here are just some of the preposterous changes being mooted:

• Instead of being smeared as a child molester in the first episode, Blake received a court summons for non-payment of his TV licence
• Avon now has an annoying 7 year old child in tow with a midget-sized soft toy as his constant companion
• The part of Jenna will be playen by a man with a perm
• The guns will look like cheap jewelry (hang on a minute - Ed)
• Serverlan's trademark plunging neckline costumes will be replaced by an actor in a shiny metal suit
• The theme music will be replaced by some comedy parp-parp music

The show is expected to last for one season and a confusing spin-off mini series.

Reported by Damon Querry, John Williams and Ayingerbrau